I had kind of a bad evening yesterday, which means it was kind of a standard evening. I sat in on my own (again) and watched TV. That is all I have in my diary until my birthday at the end of the month: January really is awful. A few months ago I was in therapy, I loved my therapist. Though when my ex stopped paying half of the rent and bills I could no longer afford to see her. She helped me realise a few key things: 1. that my ex had fundamental issues from childhood regarding abandonment from his mother at the age of 6 - it would take a life time of therapy to fix 2. with both of

https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved?language=en I found this v good and helpful. Pls listen to all of it if you like. Best, Rock.

A previous post by Rocksteady mentioned the TV programme Dr Foster. I don’t watch TV these days, but caught up on iPlayer. I loved it. Very annoying in parts, yet compelling. Since X left I have been unable to cope with fiction; this week for the first time I even made a point of watching the recent episode live. Great! Something about watching the same things as others, like in the old days. As those of you who have followed my story know, I have zero (less than zero) interest in another relationship. I retch at the thought of it. Talk about once bitten. After about two years of