One of the many great comments I've read on this site is 'you are still 100% you'. After spending such a long time with another human being how the hell do you find that 100%? Who am I? I don't even know anymore. I was a dad and a husband. That was me. Really that's who I wanted to be, simple life no dramas. 50% me 50% her. Now I find myself 50% me and 50% empty. I had who I wanted to be and it's been snatched away from me, so now I've got to find another 50% of me from somewhere and I don't even know where to start looking. I liked being half of somebody else, that other half did make me

http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/tmagazine/2014/11/10/london-taxi-test-knowledge/?_r=0&referrer= Don't know if this link will work but this is the best article about the trade that I'm trying to break into. The hours and hours of time and blood sweat and tears that it took on me and my marriage. I can't blame it, but it didn't help. Every spare minute looking at a laminated map of London or revising what point of interest is ion what road. Can I turn left there or is it not allowed? Waking up in the middle if the night with thousands of road names rushing round my head, it was breaking me

If he’d yell and scream…then I could argue back If he’d call me names…I’d have something to dispute. If he’d hit me…I would have a compelling reason to leave immediately. But he’s never done any of this. That would be too honest, upfront, the expression of genuine emotion, even confrontational…and we can’t have that now, can we? No. Instead it has been a slow, insidious altering in the whole dynamic of our relationship. I thought if I could write things down then they would make more sense. Like a puzzle I feel it’s essential to work out before I can move on to the next