Hi all, this is my first blog on here, just want to let my whole experience out of my break up and see it in words, kinda make me feel better.

"I love you i'm just not in love with you", seriously?. it was like an hydrogen bomb had been dropped on me, no warning, no arguements, no hint of trouble in paradise. "Well we can give this a try again surely?, it's the first major hurdle of our marriage, we never had problems working through stuff before?". "No i want to move on!".

"You been cheating on me?" - "No!!!, can't believe you'd suggest such a thing".

"Well why can't we work through this?" -

A long time has passed since my last blog and whilst my life sometimes still represents an episode of a horrific soap opera I am surviving! My boys have been away for a week with their dad and despite dreading them going  they seem to be having a great time and so have I.

So to update....I have finally decided to petition for divorce on grounds of adultery after realising that despite wishing we could do all this amicably, that just isn't going to happen. Ex has refused mediation, refused to contribute financially for the last few months, demanded that we sell the house, sent abusive texts,

The divorce petition has been served, and now the holidays have started we have told the kids that we are gtting divorced. Thninking back, we told them that we were splitting up at the start of the Easter holidays - my poor kids will start dreading school hols.

They were not that surprised though. My boy asked if he was still allowed to call us Mummy and Daddy. "No", I replied "from now on, you must call us Martin and Barbara" (those are not our names). That had him laughing. Once reassured that he would carry on seeing us the same, he was fine.  My daughter just shrugged.

Been painting again