A programme will be aired tonight about "Life after suicide" . I'm sure this will be a heart rendering compelling watch and one that will explore the journey for family and friends after great loss. I was about to write about my journey again and about how its important for me not to forget the time since the loss of my marriage. The reason for this is quite simple; I can and do draw strength from how far I have come. At the start I was incopacitated and also thought at one time my best option was to longer be around. Believe me.. its a very long way back from that. People who have not

So here I am, 2 years post divorce and still wondering if I will ever get out of the financial poo that ex dropped me in. I am working on supply regularly but the money doesn't stretch far enough. I have cut back all expenses ( we have to eat) but my biggest outgoings seem to be ongoing expenses for gas/water/council tax etc- temporarily have 2 adult children and son's partner and puppy living with myself and youngest daughter and they are great, helping financially but I can't see an end to a constant spiral of bills- I have re-negotiated a bank loan but money is so tight that I often have

Little? Not really. I feel as though I am in a Kafkaesque nightmare. Nothing makes sense. I try and try and try to see things from Wally’s point of view, try to understand what he is thinking or doing in some kind of context, but it is all utterly bewildering. Now his refusal to sign a consent order (even though the terms were agreed last year and drawn up on the spot into a heads of agreement which we both signed) is jeopardizing the long awaited sale of our home. He need do nothing at all. All the work of selling etc falls to me as I am living here. He has not contributed one