And down we go again on the roller coaster. It's positively embarrassing, and a shame, that even indirect, reported communications from my X can set me off. I wish I would not cry in front of my children about what an evil b****** their dad is but sometimes even now I get overwhelmed by the extent of his stupidity, selfishness etc and sheer brass neck. I know that - as I said in an earlier post only today - human relationships are tricky. And with one's X, everything is seen through the prism of divorce and heartbreak. But seriously, some Xs take the cake, and mine is one of

I wonder now, was I completely naive to believe that the old angry P had gone? I fondly imagined the steps I took in June to walk out had actually shocked him and made him seek counselling that would change him. Over the past few weeks, we have been almost happy. We have gone out together and decided to remain friends. We have laughed and made meals and carried in a s normal in the house. But today I got the keys to my new place and the realisation has hit him. Tonight he has been nasty, unreasonable and abusive. He has flung so many accusations at me and played the 'poor me' card.

What the hell am I doing? Since meeting ex the other week for finances I seem to be pulled back into the emotional turmoil of earlier months. I have been really stupid and fired email after email to him with questions I need an answer to. He's not going to respond because I asked him not to. I just want him to know how I feel because of what he's done. I told him most of all how angry I was at him destroying our family like he did. I hate that he's got another person in his life who he can turn to when I have no one, regardless of whether he loves her or not (which I doubt). I