My first day truly alone yesterday, woke up alone, went to bed alone. I guess that has something to do with it. Had a good evening as it happens, drank a few beers, had a good chat to a friend, nothing special but real "me" time for a change.

However, this morning there were tears during the walk to work. Not full on crying but enough to make me put my sunglasses on which in the half light of 7:30am must have looked stupid. I thought I looked cool, the people I passed thought I looked like a tw@. C'est la vie.

There is an underlying bitterness that I have been suppressing for a while now

It went well. I was sooo nervous but no need really. We did ‘stuff', snuggled on the sofa and watched CBeebies, stuck fluorescent stars on her bedroom ceiling (that was fab!! Really brilliant!!!), went shopping, did colouring in etc. etc. etc. etc. All ‘normal' stuff for a ‘normal' weekend.

Someone on this site gave me some advice a while ago. It was something like, don't try and make it ‘the best weekend ever' because you will set yourself up to fail. VERY GOOD ADVICE. Make it normal, and do normal things and then on Sunday, you too may receive a comment from your child along the lines

Friday was moving out day, officially.

I had spent the previous few days moving boxes and stuff to the new apartment with ‘men with a van' coming 10:30 to do the few furniture items that wouldn't fit in the car.

I was OK, surprisingly calm and collected. X2B had taken our daughter (M) to school and was doing some shopping for me as well so she was out of the way. I had managed to get everything sorted out and prepared before men with a van turned up. Boxes and stuff lined up ready to go, furniture by the front door. X2B came home just before men with a van and brought her shopping in. I