I read posts and blogs and should feel lucky that my life is not as bad as others.  But somehow I feel empty tonight.

I have the all love and affection my new partner can give and I wonder how he can love me so completly.   Why does he stay with me, why does he love me?

I feel isolated from life, from my family.  I know at least I see my children and there are those here who dont have that luxury but its not enough.

I try to remember what it was like 2 years ago when I left him.  Someone told me it would get better, maybe it has but there are times like now when I dont believe it.  Two years

My Mum was buried on Mothers Day.

I was dreading the day anyway as I wasn't sure if my kids would even remember. The dread was justified even though it was for the wrong reasons.

It wasn't unexpected but somehow it was the last news I expected on Fri. The last few days have been a blur. I miss her so much and it doesn't seem real.

Mum has been my rock in the last couple of years, well all my life really but despite really bad health she has supported me at every point in this divorce hell. Divorce was alien to her, husband & wife, for better for worse, till death us do part, but I was

I am going through feelings of doubt.

Is Ex a pig (I'm trying to be polite)?

Has my imagination made him out worse than he is?

Am I a bad person because I left him for someone else?

Have I been controlled and manipulated for years or am I imagining it?

Do my kids hate me?

Will my kids accept that I am their mother some day?

Who am I?

I always thought that I was a fairly genuine, friendly, thoughtful, kind sort of girl. I thought that I had friends. Have I changed that much or am I just believing what Ex says?

One day I believe him and accept that he is being fair and doing all he can to promote