I havent blogged for a while, for no other reason than things have become really bad, things that i cannot go into.

She has been on a long weekend away (Thurs -Mon), she called me this morning to discuss something about work and slipped into the conversation that she has 'Shingles', i asked if she was Ok and suggested some (more) time off, she said that she had to come into work.

I asked if she was taking anything for it and she said no. so i jumped in the car, drove to the Trafford Centre and bought some Camomile lotion and a soothing gel for her painful rash.

when i arrived back into work, she

Two days before my birthday (2 weeks ago) she phoned me and asked if she could take me out to celebrate, i didnt really want too but reluctantly agreed.

On the dreaded evening, she said as she climbed into the car that 'we wont talk about us, or the business and that way neither of us will get upset' (doesn't leave a lot left to talk about but what the heck i'm always up for a frigging challenge!).

She gave me my gift (Panasonic stereo, ipod ready!) amazing and off we went. she took me to a new, exclusive restaurant in Manchester and everything is going really well and we havent discussed 'Us

It has been about a fortnight since my last blog and i think i may have jumped the gun!

I honestly felt that i could get through this and hopefully be happy one day but i'm sinking, i think that i have finally ran out of steam because i still cannot get rid of her from my thoughts.

Our situation is difficult because we run a business although recently she agreed to just come in part time (tues, wed, thurs) so she has an extended long weekends, every weekend (crafty cow) but i cant say anything because i suggested she take some time away!

On friday i had to speak to her on an urgent business