I feel like I'm on a more even keel lately. I feel comfortable on my own in the house and am enjoying the freedom to do what I like, when I like and how I like it. I've reached out to people and cooked dinners, visited them at their places, quelling the little voice inside me that tells me that they won't want to come for dinner or entertain me because I'm boring and/or broken. I'm able to give more effort at work. I am able to concentrate and have an awareness of when my mind is wandering so that I can get back to the task in hand. My smashing boss is away in Hong Kong, but unlike last time,

Money worries have been the theme of the week along with my future security which will be the focus of the consent order. I am interpreting this new focus as being progress, my head being clear enough to start thinking about long term practical matters. The past 3 months, not even 3 months, have been expensive. The retainer for my lawyers, house valuations, paying off troublesome debts to clear the way for future mortgage applications have wreaked havoc on my small savings pot. I need to make peace with these outgoings: I won't need to pay them again - they're one-offs, expensive but

I feel calm and safe and quite poised. I have new routines, I reach out to friends and do nice things like going to the cinema or having a glass of wine. I whatsapp with friends far away and have booked a ticket so I will be seeing them soon. I can focus on my work and am inching forwards with items relating to my divorce. I would like to think that I've turned a corner but I suspect that like a hurricane, I'm somewhere in the eye of the storm and that soon my emotions will be whizzed around again. The consent order communications will be starting soon and I am preparing myself for a bumpy