I’ve always been somewhat of a distant person. Always had the attitude of ‘you take me as you find me, if that works for you then fine, if it doesn’t then that’s your problem’. In the past some people have commented that it makes me difficult to get to know, that I’ve seemed standoffish.
I like to think that it’s an honest approach, it’s how I feel. It’s slightly arrogant I know, but not in a malicious way. I mean, I think people should be honest and themselves, not try to hide or be something they are not. Therefore, I think the ‘this is me, take it or leave it’ approach is a good thing.
Or rather, I did.
Through the separation I have taken a long hard look at me and found things that needed to be improved. My wife, helpfully, pointed out some of them to me and I thank her for that. At least, for the ones I agree with.
So, under the banner of ‘under new management’ I’ve changed. I recently decided to start being more open, start ‘giving’ more to friends, more friendship and more care. It’s not that I didn’t do this before, it’s just that it was different, not sure if you will understand.
And the result?
Being a bit of a cautious person, I’ve tried the new improved approach on one friend and it’s really good. I feel really different about the person concerned, nothing major, not ‘head over heals in love’ or any of that tosh, just different. Like the relationship is more valid, more even. There’s give and take on both sides. Not sure I can explain it properly to be honest.
It was a risk. I didn’t know the person before I started, still don’t that much to be honest but it’s like the relationship has a more solid and valid foundation. It has the chance to move forward. It has the chance to stand still. But it has the chance. Before, the chance wouldn’t have existed.
It’s quite a good feeling.
More people should try it I reckon.