i am getting to sound like a broken record here on the old wikki.but the clock is ticking and just starting to try and think about what to pack.what do i really need besides my old life back but lets face it i am having a real hard time of letting go of just about everything. i feel that i have no mind left i know i have no lie here left i have come to that realization.but what can i fit in the car whatt can i get another time. what do i really need.nothing but a clue...yea i have made a list and that about as far as it went.the list did not include the endless going over in my mind on how it even got this far.the depression is there ,my mind is jelloi have no strengh except the endless beating myself up.i have no clue even what i am writing down.
i throw a few things in a bag thinkin i will need this/need that then just stop packing and hang back on this damm computer.justification is that by this time next week i will be somewhere else ,somewhere that the www web is not and maybe that is a good thing because being connected is making me more crazy in the head.
this should go ,this can stay..i will get it some other day.a life of things that now have no home ..sell it all i do not need it.i have been a pack rat all my life and if she asks me one more time "do you want this/do you want that i " iwll just about go over the edge.
i wish i was more excited about this than i am.but what can i say..when even getting uo in the morning is a major task to face a new life of uncertainity,on my own ,without a job,getting down to my last dollars and no desire.hell i thought i was on the bottom a month ago....but i will plug along when i just want to get back in the sack and make it all go away.................