Well folks ... I managed to drag myself back to work and I am glad I did :)
It was nice to get back and get back into the thick of things ! I do realise that I am responsible totally for myself now I am alone and that developing my career to secure my financial future is vitally important. Keeping things together at work is vitally important to me but occasionally it all gets too much and I need to take some time away to regroup, get some 'head space' and get things back into perspective. Obviously I cannot do this too often but sometimes it is necessary for my mental health so I take it ....
Anyway, on a more positive note, I have booked yet another half hour consultation with a solicitor on Monday - hopefully I will get better vibes from her than I have done from the solicitors I have spoken to before and will at last find someone I am happy to work with and who will, I feel, represent my best interests. Despite my best efforts to engage my ex in some sort of communication to move things along, he is still ignoring my e-mails so I have sadly accepted that this is the end of the road as far as any sort of civilised communication between us is concerned. I have tried and tried to be civil, friendly ... you name it, I've tried it but must now concede failure. Despite all that he has said and done to me over the years, I was really hoping to have remained friends with him but now realise that this was foolish and naive. I cannot devote any more of my time and energy to him anymore so must now put all my efforts into my divorce and fighting to get the best possible result for me.
Hopefully a copy of the will I ordered on Monday will come this wek so at least I will know what the situation is regarding the ownership and method of payment for the London property which has the potential to have a huge impact on my eventual financial settlement - good or bad, I need to now know. I have worried and fretted too much about this and cannot waste anymore time worrying about something I cannot change ... I must grit my teeth and just find out once and for all so I can move on. I have been paralysed by fear for too long .... when all is said and done, I can't possibly end up any worse off than I am now, I have survived over the past two years and got through things I never thought I could never previously do - but I did ! I have to accept that my life has moved on, I will have to kiss goodbye to my lovely home, possessions and former life and realise that I will never have them again BUT it doesn't mean that it is the end of the world - hopefully I will get a break and soon !