Yesterday was one of the most stressful I have had to endure since being asked to leave.
Several months ago before all this blew up I booked a family outing for my wife, 2 eldest children and myself - train to London - King Tut exhibition at the O2 - cinema - boat trip on Thames - and meal before train home.
Although we had had a bit of a row the previous day I persuaded my wife that she had to come as the kids had been looking forward o this treat for a long time and anyway was it not her that wanted us to still do things as a family.
Bad move - on the train if her face had been any longer her chin would have been scraping of the floor wile I tried valiantly to keep a happy face for the kids sake.
She was short tempered with the kids and i found myself apologising and making excuses for her - the kids could see she did not wish to be there. Although to give her her due she did rally round later in the day.
The first time she smiled was when her work phoned and she was able to disengage herself (yes this was supposed to be a day off).
I found the whole day physically and emotionally exhausting however the kids did enjoy the trip so I guess the effort was worth it.
However it does make me wonder if there is any hope for us to get through this and remain friends even for the kids sake.
I am so worried the effect it is having on them, our son does not know who to sit beside \ talk to when both his parents are in the same room, our eldest daughter wet the bed last night and our youngest just clings on to the nanny (her rock).
I feel so helpless when I look into their faces, I want to tell them that this process is not what I want, that it is their mother that is pushing us down this route, but I can't do it to her or them as far as the kids are concerned mummy and daddy have agreed to live apart but that we both love them all so very much and will continue to be a family!!!!!!!!.