I'm interested in what other people thought about this if they managed to see it recently on Channel 5? There were a number of takeaways for me I know. Briefly the power of personal relationships and the devastation actually on "both sides" that the affair can cause. I was struck by how those who chose to "cross the line" seemed to be far from "sorted" or living the perfect life now. Far from it. There was the woman who acknowledged that she knew that she and her lover had "obliterated two fully functioning families". Her guilt was there to see and she shared how shame combined with guilt can hurt as deeply perhaps as for those who are "wronged".
There was also the astonishing story of the couple whose whole long term married life was revealed as a "sham" but who somehow chose to stay together. There was the man who really missed his ex wife and to the point of becoming very upset by this when he talked about his story. It thought it was compulsive viewing as I have lived through it all myself and come out the other side. It was my ex wife who had the affairs. I think the programme confirmed for me something that I also had to work out for myself but could never see at the time and its this: people can and do use affairs and relationships with others as a way of escaping or to try and fix something within themselves.
The "wrong doers" or those who commit adultery and for couples whose actions along these lines can hurt so very deeply, rarely land on a bed of roses. Nor do they seem to find the dignity that can often be lived out by the people left behind who eventually reach a point of realisation that whatever has transpired was in fact nothing to do with them and they can be freed by whatever pain once entrapped them. Just like "the girl on the train" they may have suffered from many many false accusations. It takes time to separate the invented truths of wrong doers who try oh so very hard to cover their tracks. In my case a very long time. Its oh so very personal and isolating isn't it? But roll forward by some years and things change very radically indeed.