The petition is finished. It took a while, and he had to approve it all - I can't just do it MYSELF, can I? Even though only our Sols will see it, he doesn't want to be painted "like an as****e." He hasn't done anything wrong, it's not true. It's completely right for decent, caring, compassionate men to leave their wives for OW, cheat, lie, collude, deceive. How dare I stop him from getting on with his life? Don't I UNDERSTAND THAT HE WANTED A DIVORCE YESTERDAY, WE ARE LIKE CHALK AND CHEESE, HIS LIFE IS BEING HELD UP BY ME, WHAT KIND OF A SICK BI*** AM I TO WASTE HIS TIME SO THAT HE HAS TO DEAL WITH ME EVERYDAY? DONT I UNDERSTAND THAT HE NEVER WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN, I AM A CANCER TO HIM??
The Sol made it salacious, but still true. Last night, I read him the draft - which he told me I had to- and hell broke loose. He now says he doesnt like the reasons, they're not "exactly" what I read, the Sol had no reason to change the wording, he shouldnt be nice to me as I am not nice to him - he will only pay for mtg and that's it. He will call the gas, water, power to cancel, he will call internet/ home phone to cancel, if I want to use the phone I can drive down the road to park in a car park (I have no mobile signal at home). Emergency? I can knock on the neighbors door. It's a luxury. Heat? I won't die, Im not 65, water? I can shower at work or ask the neighbor. TV? Not a luxury, I can use my phone (without wifi? Um, noooo). He will be buying her a xmas gift, but she "desreves it" & it's a "one off". Hi Mum will give him money for xmas, it's a "one off", what she does with her effing money is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. He will vacation with her, he's "entitled" as his life with me was "pure hell".
He then said that he will cross file, he knows it's useless & pricey but he wants to see me bankrupt, he will purposefully call his Sol night and day so that I will have to pay for it, he wil be living with his Mum with no bills & he will be living his dream life soon with someone who is "so different & really CARES LIKE I NEVER DID", I dont understand what a nice person his Mum is, I never appreciated her, I can't PROVE THAT THEY COLLUDED TOGETHER & WHEN I SWEAR IN COURT THAT THEY DID, I WILL BE A LIAR & BE ARRESTED, I NEED PROOF , "PROOOOOOFFFF" , I don't have it, he will be laughing as the "world" will know that I am an unfeeling, nasty, psycho, money grubbing b***h. He has now sent a text saying "do not contact me again, your texts are causing mne harrassment, alarm, and distress" which he always said was the PC instruction for anyone that was undergoing domestic violence, they send that and if there is any response then the other party will be visited by police.
Could he be any more pathetic? This is the same man who lied on his police app & said that he'd never smoked cannabis so that he could get in. Lied about his car insurance. Lied about his holiday time so he didn't have to see his son. Lied about his money so he could spend it all on himself.
We still have to deal with finances, this was supposed to be the easy part.
I don't care what he says on his petition, I gave up my soul for him and the marriage & if it says that every night at midnight I turn into a TRex & eat babies, Ill sign. I know Im not the woman that he will speak of on that petition & I wont be bullied like that.
But I hate the fact that I am now scared, I don't have money to pay for his Sol or anything else if he cross petitions. He could be bluffing, maybe not. I can't be arrested or have a bankruptcy/ ccj otherwise I can't apply for dual citizenship, he knows this & this is his best way of getting back at me. I can't lose my job but I am struggling as he is attention seeking & I have to drive home on lunch breaks to make sure he doesnt loot the house.
I have to have dual citizenship otherwise my life with him has really been a waste. I wish he wasn't such a bully, I always knew he was, but he has made me worry about whether I will get what I want out of this. What I want is maintenance, half his pension, my life back, and a British passport.
I am now emotional enough to be vomitious, I can deal with the constant fight or flight response but I need cash to start a new life, which I deserve.
I just wish that I could be as mean as he is, just once, to know, but I hate myself for thinking that. And I hate myself for being scared, it's not like me.