I had an email conversation with my soon to be ex husband today. It had the usual back and forth. A little power struggle, a little snark from both sides. But it has left me feeling uneasy. I noticed changes in the language he was using, words and phrases he never used before that are the result of his being absorbed in his new relationship. And it left me wondering, how long will it be before I change? For the people who leave for new relationships, they are immediately transported to this new and wonderful life. They start over with barely a whisper of their conscience and can continue

Seems everything isn't rosy in the stbx's perfect planned world. She went out earlier for a bit, I don't know where and came home crying. Long story short it was the pantomime tonight that we always went to with the kids, I was going to go on my own but stbx was so upset she ended up coming. Only after a bit of a meltdown by her, storming off up the road saying I can't live like this anymore, you hate me! What the bloody hell do you expect! Anyway she eventually came, I didn't talk to her bit did find myself looking at her and so caught her looking at me a couple of times. All it did was turn

I'd never heard of this phrase before. Why would I have? But it's sums up perfectly the action of snooping around. I don't like doing it but I feel I can't help it. I'm in the house most of the day on my own and my mind wanders. Anyway I've been to the pain shop plenty of times since this mess started, finding presents for the other man, sex toys, Christmas cards all of which have sent a bolt of pain through me. Why do I do it? I don't know. I know it doesn't help but it just feels like human nature to want to know secrets and what's going on. Now some if the things I found like the