I'm dreading Christmas already, I want to stay in bed, pull the covers over my head and wait there till it's over. But I can't I have a daughter so I have to put on a happy face and carry on as normal. In April I made my son (16) go and live with his dad. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and too long a story to talk about on here but I gave him so much love and time only to be faced with a barrage of abuse and aggression, I just couldn't take it anymore. I've just found out that for the third year in a row my ex is going away for Christmas. I haven't a clue where our

I wonder now, was I completely naive to believe that the old angry P had gone? I fondly imagined the steps I took in June to walk out had actually shocked him and made him seek counselling that would change him. Over the past few weeks, we have been almost happy. We have gone out together and decided to remain friends. We have laughed and made meals and carried in a s normal in the house. But today I got the keys to my new place and the realisation has hit him. Tonight he has been nasty, unreasonable and abusive. He has flung so many accusations at me and played the 'poor me' card.

Still no word on my new house and, strange as it seems, we are living together peaceably in the family home which we are waiting to be sold' (it's been on the market 6 weeks and not one viewer) It has all been said between us and I have made it clear that it is over. It occurs to me that when you want to leave a home and someone buys it straight away that it the best feeling in the world. The opposite of that is when you don't want to leave a home and no-one wants to buy it anyway. That is so very painful. I have known for almost the entire marriage that I had married the wrong man. He