This is me right now and certainly since Oct 2010 and perhaps for a long time before that. My brain is like mush. I struggle incredibly to do anything beyond the basic stuff that doesn't require brain power, thought, planning, organising.... They all seem beyond me. I know I'm my own worst enemy. No need for anyone to run me down as I'll beat them to it every time. I've had counselling, did it work? I have a deadline looming on Thursday and my children are back with me tomorrow so basically tonight was my last night to get this work done. I've been at it all night but simply dont

Yesterday was my 1st birthday as a father to 2 wonderful children with no loving partner to share it with. Last year the ex gave me a lovely b'day booking me off work without me knowing to take me out for a spa day. It was slightly surreal given the revelations and journey towards redemption we were on given her affairs but the day was a success but with a twist. Soon after at an Xmas gathering with the wider family my brothers wives commented how she and we looked happier together than for a long time and Xmas day came and went with renewed hope in my heart that we could ride out of

Christmas is upon us. Its a time of festive cheer. We're all supposed to be happy. Too have our loved ones near. And yet for you and me, him and her, for many wiki's too. This is the time of year we dread to have to get through. A time we may be alone with no one to share our home. Our loved ones torn from us, circumstances beyond our control. And that is if we're lucky enough to have a place of our own. As many of us settle into new surrounds. Our lives uprooted and dropped on shifting sands. Time is ticking, Xmas is coming, it wont wait for us. Watch the Xmas movies , all