Well what can I say - from my grief comes a bud of hope.

I have decided that I loved being married - bloody loved it! loved the day to dayness of it, the support (thought I had that) of knowing that i was not alone, the kids, the house, the washing, all of it I really did!

Now I really that is me  - I loved all that - it had nothing to do with him - I was in this marriage on my own for most of the time! Don't get me wrong there were truly wonderful times (can't think about them now as I will get heartbroken) but generally I loved being married and not him.  If I had been married to the bloke

Have found my mind wandering of late and a smile appearing on my face when I least expect it. I find myself thinking about certain things when I should be concentrating on others. I have a spring in my step and find myself singing all the time.

 I have now realised that I have good friends; special friends in my life who love me just for being me and maybe that has helped me to smile even through some bad days.

I can now see my life as an adventure; exciting, a little scary and uncertain, funny, sad and full of a whole spectrum of emotions. Now I have friends to share the adventure with it

Hello, and goodnight.

 I looked at the home page last night and saw my name against lots of entries. Doh. Seems I've got carried away with feeling a little positive and trying to make helping responses to blogs and posts. My entries are far from the wisest, I havent suffered some of the terrible experiences some others have had or are having, and I am not the word smith I would like to be - so one response and this blog will do me for tonight. I'll try to avoid coming on at all tomorrow as there's a leaving do, and after half a shandy would probably type as much rubbish as normally spouts from