I am so sorry for any upset or misunderstanding that I might of caused anyone  due to my blog.

As most will know from my profile there is a picture of Pippa there.

When I was told I could not have anymore children, Pippa was the child I could not have, she was and always will be my little girl.

In the world we live in, receiving unconditional love and  affection is a rare and beautiful thing, mine though sad and stupid to most will seem, was from Pippa.

I know what it is like to lose a child and the pain and heartache you have to endure, this I hope no one will ever experience, I have lost my

This blog is for me to release some of the anxiety and worry I have been feeling for the last few days, as I dont want to worry my family.

My doctor, he's a kind sole who always gives and makes me smile,  informed me on friday that my condition has worsened, due to my blood pressure being so high, my heart rate is nearly double what it should be and has been like this for over a year. 

The worry over Pippa and the divorce is increasing my blood pressure to the point that I find it difficult to find the energy to work without getting a severe headache, a warning sign I get when  my heart rate is

I just thought i would post a little note as life in general is getting better.

I would also like to thank all the people who have helped me through what at the time seemed like mountains to climb, with help from others they turned out to be only hills.

My little girl Pippa has more energy and life now she is off the pills and not having all the injections, I know she won't be with me for long as the cancer will take over, but I am happy that my little girl is not in pain and that for nearly 13 years she has given me love, affection, comfort and joy throughout this time.

When I think about it