Bill sat in his solicitor's office.

Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news? the lawyer said.

Give me the bad news first.

Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.

That's the bad news? asked Bill incredulously. I can't wait to hear the terrible news.

The terrible news..... is that it's of you and your secretary.

A doctor, an engineer and a lawyer were arguing about whose profession was the oldest.

The doctor took his turn first: "Remember how God removed a rib from Adam to create Eve? Obviously, medicine is the oldest profession."

The engineer smiled and replied "Ah, but before that, God created the heavens and the earth from chaos, all in less than a week. You have to admit that was a remarkable feat of engineering, and that makes engineering an older profession than medicine."

The lawyer smirked and said:

"But who do you think created the

 A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's senior partner had passed away unexpectedly.

"Is Mr. Smith there?" asked the client on the phone. "I'm very sorry," the receptionist answered, "but Mr. Smith passed away last night." "Is Mr. Smith there?" repeated the client. The receptionist was perplexed. "Perhaps you didn't understand me, I'm afraid Mr. Smith passed away last night."

"Is Mr. Smith there?" the client again asked.

"Ma'am, do you understand what I'm saying?" said the exasperated receptionist, "Mr. Smith is DEAD!"

"Oh I understand you perfectly," said