Blog Entries tagged 'depression loneliness'

Ten steps backwards

memorcarpediem@yahoo.co.uk — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Back to feeling rock bottom again. I thought I would be ok but after yesterdays panic I am emotionally back to being a complete mess again. I drank far too much last night as my head is a bad place to be and thought and tried to be good as in NO TEXTING!!!! Yeah right, did the begging ones.

When am i going to realise it is over. He is lying to me when he says things, I know now he wants his both lives, not just me. I gotta get it in my head he has moved on (he didn't deny barmaid w [...]

why i cant die!

g.marks80@ntlworld.com — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Or should i say why cant i die?

sorry if i sound so low, but im having an awful time at the moment. The reason i cant die is because of my kids,they have got a crappy mother, who doesnt give a sh.t about them,so therefore i have to be strong for them. trouble is i dont want to be strong any more,i have had enough, even after having had a heart attack, my so called family and friends still dont care enough to ring, just to see if im alri [...]

Paranoia

memorcarpediem@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Ok went out, nothing to do but thought go into town to mooch. I am losing it, every woman I see I wonder is that her? If she is walking around with a young teen girl I almost stop and try and hear if they refer to any names? The barmaid has 13yr old daughter (I know tart and tarts daughters names). Please tell me other have felt like this and I am not going fruit loop. I just need to know what she looks like, who she is, what she is.

Idiot texted me, I am obviouslly in bad mood, se [...]

Cut off from the Mother Ship.

helena736@aol.com — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I am so glad that I found this site for I feel if I don't begin writing about this tsunamai of feelings I shall surely implode. I am not able to talk about these feelings with anyone without receiving a basket of platitudes.
I've been thinking that if I just put the feelings into words, exactly the way I'm experiencing them, that I'll move along faster. Yes....get me out of this abyss. On top of it all I compare myself to those who seemed to have moved on easy as a pie [...]

Weekend blues

memorcarpediem@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

This is the part of the week I hate, the WEEKEND!!! When everyone is happy family and it reminds me how sad and alone I am. Supermarkets full of families, today is the regatta - woop woop - loads families. This is where I get angry as he if filling his weekend and having great fun socialising whilst I at home broke, looking after kids and lonely.

I didn't blog yesterday as was cross. I have been excluded from his uncle's funeral. He is going up to his sisters the night bef [...]

WHY

g.marks80@ntlworld.com — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

If only we knew what was round the corner of our lives,you could plan things, not make stupid mistakes, do things better, less exciting i know, but, in hindsight,ifs and buts and all that rubbish,i certainly would of written different things in my last blog,let me explain, this time last week ,i was feeling ok just back off hols, j [...]

how "2"

g.marks80@ntlworld.com — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

hi 2 all

thanks for all the responses, its great to hear all your thoughts.

I know this sounds kind of screwy,but this place ive found here, its kinda comforting,i let you know how im feeling,and tel [...]

Thanks for the Blog Comments !

wikivorce@sbainbridge.cix.co.uk — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0100

This blogging seems to be very therapeutic. I was really encouraged by the three replies to my first blog, SOMEONE OUT THERE CARES. I would like to reply to the people who commented below

Marriaa

Thanks for the comments, I am sure that you are correct in that the emotions one experiences come in different orders for different people, sorry to hear that you are having to cope with loss at the moment, loss is a difficult emotion to deal with as there does not appear any way to [...]

My First Blog

wikivorce@sbainbridge.cix.co.uk — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I started this blog as my profile, initially I felt too shy to post it, but having reviewed it I thought it would really be better as a blog

Steve

I'm a 53 year old professional man living in North Devon, Happily Married (So I Thought) for 8 years. My wife has recently left, and has flown to Sweden to see her 2nd Cyberlover for a month (09/07/2008). Prior to that she went to Rhodes a month ago to see another Cyberlover

Currently feeling all t [...]

Crappest day ever today!.............

maisiedaisy@sky.com — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0100

First time blogger so forgive mistakes/lack of bblog etiquette if such a thing!

Why is it that friends don't undersatnd that you're feeling so rubbish u just need to stay in your pyjamas with all the curtains closed? Today it's hit me that I'm 40 in two months exactly and at this moment in time I'll have nothing to celebrate and don't even know whether I'll have somewhere to live.

I spose I hoped that I could keep everything at bay, just for a bit and f [...]

Thanks, everyone

matt@chaos.org.uk — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Had a lousy few days. This evening was horrible. It's like all the bad thoughts I should have had in the last three months all came along and mobbed me today.

I don't think I could get through this without you guys.

Knowing that every single person on here is going through the same thing makes a real difference. The sympathy is genuine, and there's always someone who knows what to say. Even if all we do is talk rubbish till 3 am, i [...]

Moving along

reem@mahadi.freeserve.co.uk — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

They say there is no amicable divorce.

I am very civil to him. And he sees the children as much as their time allows. Sometimes at the expense of my comfort. But I let it be - he needs to see them and they need to see him.

He says the most awful things sometimes. I have been through a lot. Some of it as a direct result of his behaviour and some because life is such. I cannot keep going through this. Sometimes I feel my heart bleeding and I cannot breathe. Sometimes I find mysel [...]

Loneliness

reem@mahadi.freeserve.co.uk — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Here I am again - sitting at my computer, with loads of work to do. I am unable to do the work, but cannot stand not doing anything either.

I am very very lonely.

I keep asking myself, night after night, why do I feel so lonely. Nothing much has changed really. He used to come home very late anyway. The only difference is that now I know he's not coming home. So I lock the door, draw the curtains, kiss the kids goodnight (once more) and sit at my computer trying to work.

New and lost

pandoraawakes@hotmail.co.uk — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Sounds a cliche but I never thought this would be happening to me! Im new tothis lark so please bare with me. The saga of my marriage and the pain of its ending seem to be obliterating all I loved and cared for in and about my husband. And I desperately dont want this to be the case - I dont want the end to mar 18 years of best friends, 15 years of marriage and affect our 3 children (although I am not too niave to know that it will undoubtably affect them.) I dont want my marriage to end and I [...]

Getting my come uppence!

john.stimpson@macs-solutions.com — Sat, 31 May 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I joined Wiki yesterday (glad), also put our home on the market (bad). we both listened to the estate agent explain the market (blah! Blah!), we decided to go ahead and he left us.

I was in bits (inside) whilst she went looking for things to easily remove and take with her to her temporary residence. we didnt talk.

10 minutes later she was gone and then i received a text message telling me the bloody obvious 'you forced me to do this, all your fault' etc etc. [...]

depression

anna@theharrisfamily.wanadoo.co.uk — Sat, 31 May 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Well woke up this morning as if the whole world is on top of me. As if everything that is happening to me can't be real. Fed up and tired of this battle, of solicitors, and court hearings. Just want to feel normal again and wake up with a smile but it's not happening. Just want to feel happy to do the food shopping as it's great to experiment with new recipes.Just want to feel happy doing the housework as it's good to see your house clean.Just want to be happy doi [...]

A strange feeling

droopydraws_uk@hotmail.com — Tue, 20 May 2008 01:00:00 +0100

so tomorrow is the day my ex gets married to that thing, do i wish him well not at all, hope he forgets his decree absolute hope it pours down on that beach.Am i bitter no angry ,angry at the way he has treated me and our children , angry the decree absolute was granted without my knowledge , angry we have a FH soon , angry he could forget his own children angry he plays games still dictates what sort of life the children can have as he picks and chooses when he wants to pay child support.In our [...]

Tired but satisfied

poshie72@msn.com — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Ok so another sleepless night. Think I know more about what's on tv in the early hours than what is shown in the daytime!

Up at 6am for shower, get kids dressed, breakfast and out to their respective childcare - the 2 eldest it's the breakfast club at school, the youngest is at a childminders. Felt really low, and think my 3 year old picked up on it as he cried when I left him which is not something which he normally does. Made me feel awful all the way to [...]

Strength, not Sh*t

neil.cranidge@sky.com — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I feel a bit better today. Spoke to my boss, who was sympathetic, and later saw a friend.

I cranked up the car stereo on the way back. My Dad told me ages ago that when he and Mum split he used to play I Will Survive all the time. I didn't resort to that track but I felt its ghostly presence, and I finally realised after years of mishearing that the final verse can't possibly be:

It took all the sh*t I had not to fall apart.

It i [...]

Medication

neil.cranidge@sky.com — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I have tried, I really have, but I can't seem to pull out of this spiral, and the therapy just doesn't seem to be doing the trick. I live for the weekends but even when I'm with the kids the dark stuff is seeping in. And I just can't cope with work anxiety filling my head day and night, bouncing around the walls of the flat with nowhere to go, with no family to take it away.

So now work's gone away for a bit and here I am [...]