His latest nasty stunt.

memorcarpediem@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Well no champagne picnic tomorrow, he has booked a golf lesson and then going for beers, in the pub she works at on sat. Didn't even bother to tell me tomorrow was off. Last night it was still on, I had texted him about arrangements, he said nothing about not coming. God when he brought daughter back I really wanted to be violent towards him.

I think he had the hump and is getting at me as just after he got here my oldest daughter's boyfriends dad had just arrived to pick [...]

Not so nisi

heath.davis@hotmail.co.uk — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Spent most of today wishing I was part of a family again, my family, and that we could have stopped being horrible to each other, and prevented this mess.

Then I got home and the nisi was on the mat, how did they know?

I'll cry when the kids are in bed.

Not so nisi to see you, nisi!

Heath

Caring more about the pets than about us

andrewcbaillie@msn.com — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Really? Oh yes.

I mean, pandering to the cat and dog to the extent that she'll allow them to drink the remainder of her milk from her breakfast bowl out of the bowl itself.

That, for me is just disgusting.

Oh yes, I said to stop it, too right I did. But she won't be told what to do, will she. Nope, what we'll do instead is to make sure 'Dad's' not around when it happens instead.

I mean, what the animals want is far more important than what I and [...]

Lots more new Blog Entries today

andrewcbaillie@msn.com — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I've woken up today and felt a wave of desire come over me to "Write It Down".

You see, nearly a year ago something happened in our house (which I'll write about later).

In my eyes, what happened was, well - extra-ordinary.

So upset by it was I at that time, I took myself off to the doctors. I had been meaning to go anyway, I'd been feeling low up until that point anyway and needed to chat with someone about the levels of my drinking that h [...]

Heading back to the bottom

memorcarpediem@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Flipped out big style last night. Lesson to self - do not try and box emotions up with kick up backside as they are not ready to go away yet. He's not ready to come back but he's still dangling that carrot. I have no idea whether I want him back or not, I just want to stop hurting. I sobbed and sobbed, another nights lost sleep and such pain. I managed to work for 3 hours but back to achieving diddly again. Can't go to drs for any pills until medical for new job done. Hopeful [...]

Where have all the nice women gone?

andrewcbaillie@msn.com — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Now that’s a pretty broad question, I know, but you know how it is – you become so caught up in your own circle of family and the problems you have that you forget that there’s a whole world going on outside.

And my thoughts are all influenced by my own situation. And my thoughts aren’t nice.

I read blog comment after blog comment from women who have loved and been wronged. But I’m a bloke that has loved and been wronged. So why didn’t I [...]

Every boy needs a full time father figure

andrewcbaillie@msn.com — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

When I was 15 years old, he just went. I mean, he wasn’t much of a role model in truth, but still – he was my Dad.

…and as time moves on and the years tumble by, I look back on those years after he went and realise what a bloody mess I was.

I mean, there I was now the new “Man Of The House” having to deal with such situations as finding my Mum in the under stairs cupboard in darkness holding a knife to her neck. What a bloody mess I became.

Upset about blog comment - note to self

andrewcbaillie@msn.com — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Note to self:

Just a little upset about a comment that was left on my blog yesterday, blog entry entitled "My life's analogy".

Explanation - when things happen in your life, it's easy to become obsessed by it. So, if someone makes a comment about your weight, you can easily find yourself looking in every reflection of a shop window, or mirror, to see if you're putting on weight. Or, if you find out someone has been cheating on you, you normal rational [...]

1 step forward 2 steps back

memorcarpediem@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Hmmmmm, good bit is I haven't cried since sunday, but having internal wobble. Felt a bit of anger and stuff last night and then just had awful night. Had one of those really vivid dreams about him me and the barmaid, I dreamt he left her and came back to be and she was gutted. Then couldn't settle and had millions of things going around my head. So this morning am very tired and feeling vunerable. I am going to see lots of him this week as he taken week out to see 15yr old. I am just [...]

Musn't grumble.

andrewcbaillie@msn.com — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I've absolutely no idea what I'm doing, or if anybody will either read or be interested in my blog, but sometimes in life one needs a place to scream - and I'm hoping this'll turn out to be the place for me to do it.

If this blog continues, I'm reckoning that things will kinda start slotting themselves into place, a sort of "self Counselling" service. So here goes, and sorry to any readers for any future ramblings!!

I need to talk about it, the whol [...]

finding my sense of fun

annpawley@btinternet.com — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

It's been a good day on the whole. I have talked on the phone to the kids and they are fine. They talk about lots of things, except one. No mention of the flooosie. You'd think she wasn't there!

I 've been thinking about what the new situation might mean (with regards to her existence being known to the kids) . Dodgy ground. It is possible she will start making an appearance at activities when he's with the kids and I will have to cope with seeing her on my ter [...]

Unreasonable expectations

juliet.steven@tiscali.co.uk — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Oops! The trouble with having an up day is the awareness that just around the corner there is going to be something to trip me up & I'll find myself stumbling again. So many people describe this journey as a roller coaster & this is so true. Trouble is, I know that this time I am being the one with unreasonable expectations & that these are to do with my issues. I know I am not being fair, but despite this, I am still finding it hard to think differently.

A quick [...]

So far so good!

annpawley@btinternet.com — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Today's the day

Earlier today my kids went off for the first time to stay at their dad's, and they're gonna be away all week. I thought I would really struggle but managed to get them sorted and off without breaking down. As far as I am aware, and I increasingly think I might be wrong, they think they are spending the week just with their dad and don't know the floosie even exists, let alone that they are (presumably) gonna be forced to spend a whole week [...]

confused, angry, depressed

Jeannie@hotmail.co.uk — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Hello all my wiki friends

what would i do if you lot was not here? what would i do if i could not come here, get some advice, support and guidance.

I need your guidance now, i basically dont know what im doing, sounds stupid at 49 with 2 kids, but i dont! i dont really even know where to start i just feel so alone, so sad and im still crying since i found out about my husband's affair in December what is wrong with me why cant i seem to mak [...]

Stress, 1 st meeting with him face to face after he left

hanajohnstonova@hotmail.co.uk — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I have been dreading this day. I asked him to move out 2 months ago, after I discovered he is continuing with his affair. Did nos speak to him since, except for a few e-mails and texts.

Contacted him last week we need to discuss some issues before the school starts and before he goes on hols with his new partner.

Feeling stressed but not that bad. I know I have to stay calm and in control.

He is coming in the evening and I have my 2nd session with my hypnotherapist be [...]

Calm returning (about time!!!!!)

memorcarpediem@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I woke this morning and was happy to get up, I wanted to get on with some writing up of my research and even had a quick hoover first. Hmmmmm not felt like this for a long time. Weird, like my brain could take no more!

Had long uppy and downey day yest. Had 15 cases in court as well (worst fruit loop I have had in long time yest), then had sister over for 2 hours, she needed to off load (both had violent abusive childhood with alcoholic father) and it brought back [...]

It was Supposed to Have Been a Treat!

macrae.macrae@btopenworld.com — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Yesterday was one of the most stressful I have had to endure since being asked to leave.

Several months ago before all this blew up I booked a family outing for my wife, 2 eldest children and myself - train to London - King Tut exhibition at the O2 - cinema - boat trip on Thames - and meal before train home.

Although we had had a bit of a row the previous day I persuaded my wife that she had to come as the kids had been looking forward o this treat for a long ti [...]

I should be happy shouldnt I?

butterfly_colours@hotmail.com — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Ok so separated from husband for two years, it's been 4 months since i got my decree nisi, so its all done and dusted.

Been on auto pilot since he left, and setting goals to make sure that good for nothing lieing heartless cheat wasn't going to get the best of me, so i started studying, it helped keep my mind occupied, instead of wasting time thinking of someone who was clearly not worth and had moved on with his life.

Wanted a career, so went for something i wanted [...]

'together'

juliet.steven@tiscali.co.uk — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Hi.

Thought I'd sign in as I wrote my first entry then promptly abandoned my blog to go off for the weekend, camping with my children. I've only mentioned my son up until now but I also have a daughter (in her 20s) from my first marriage (my first husband died). It was really good to get away & spend some quality time with the children- they keep me going - I truly believe that I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for them.

Our weekend wa [...]

Need AK47 please

memorcarpediem@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Wow, totally winded now. How thnigs can change in a few hours. He texted a few times and then rang. Ooops he changed his mind again. No reconciliation, just friendship and sex on offer. Actually forced him to talk about barmaid and he now say they friends, mentioned re' all his friends thought they were a couple, he denied it again. He is feeling hard done by as he says it's alright for us women as we keep the family home, kids etc etc but the poor blokes lose everything. AW [...]

Blog Entries tagged 'dealing with emotions'