Blog Entries tagged 'abuse and violence'

Decisions made today

dawnuk57@yahoo.com — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I woke up today & decided enough was enough!! I wasn't going to take anymore emotional abuse from my stbx or listen to anymore of his lies about his OW. I decided to block his number on my mobile & now he cant ring or text me again.

I then read online in an article that it helps to get over an ex if you write down all the pain they've caused you over the years, and to list all the things that you didn't like about him too. Well, i did just that, took me awhile actua [...]

Trying to let go and move on

dawnuk57@yahoo.com — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

We lived together 3 years, bought a nice house and got married. We didnt have children as i couldn't stay pregnant for long, always miscarried around 8 weeks! Hubby had 4 kids from 1st marriage and we all got on pretty well, they stayed with us some weekends & on holidays, they lived away so contact wasnt constant.

I thought we happy together on the whole, despite his problems with alcohol & pill addiction (codeine dependency).

I encouraged him to leave his employmennt [...]

Why don't You go live with your dad ?

linda.mcdermot@ntlworld.com — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I had surgery last Thursday around 11:00 am ,I was marked down as urgent surgery for a frozen shoulder I went down for a pre- medical assessment Wednesday I had 1 last chance to go to town. So I hurried down to M&S a few days earlier got my ready dinners in the freezer ,all that was left was to buy a flask also buy some extra large tops to go over a sling , and I am good to go in hospital at 07:30 [...]

In court this afternoon - to stop the abuse (again)

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Am in court this afternoon to extend my Non-Molestation Order, having to self rep because my legal aid case was discharged and couldn't be reinstated in time.

To say I am nervous is putting it lightly. Not really had time to think about it until today, just the 2 little girls at home now as the older 3 went back to school this morning.

Thank you to those of you that pm'd me with messages of support last night and also for the texts. I will go in with my friends from Wiki h [...]

Charming men make dangerous lovers

linda.mcdermot@ntlworld.com — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

We have all read the articles charming men make dangerous lovers,I was always of an opinion this always happened to other women until it happened to me .I met such a man in 1995,my mother died in 1993 of breast cancer and I was going through a rough patch as a single parent bringing up my oldest son ,who was 14 years old. Some days I could not see the computer screen on the till for crying over my teenage son. so it is little [...]

attending at the court for give evidence

nenamey@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

My ex has been arrested and got bail condition after what he has done to me.He got injunction by the County Court ,our case is still on.By the wy He is at Magistrate Court,I got invitation letter to attent the court to give evidence.H edenied and what he has done and doesnt accept he is guilty.I did not lie and I was almost forget the past ...Now I cant sleep to think whats going to happen at the court?His solicitor is going to ask me so many questions to put me in trouble and lies and I dont [...]

will he ever know what he has lost?

boothyboy666@hotmail.co.uk — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I dont know why, but whenever my day goes to pot - i write a blog. I just wish i had something good to write, maybe one day.

Went to the solicitors today, he handed me the papers that explained why my husband wants a divorce. Apparently I shout and try and control him. I almost feel bad that he has suffered me for 11 years. I mean, when i think about the times he said to me that i was his honey, and could'nt wait until our children had children and [...]

Crappest day ever today!.............

maisiedaisy@sky.com — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0100

First time blogger so forgive mistakes/lack of bblog etiquette if such a thing!

Why is it that friends don't undersatnd that you're feeling so rubbish u just need to stay in your pyjamas with all the curtains closed? Today it's hit me that I'm 40 in two months exactly and at this moment in time I'll have nothing to celebrate and don't even know whether I'll have somewhere to live.

I spose I hoped that I could keep everything at bay, just for a bit and f [...]

Still has ultimate financial control!

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

It is so unfair. How can I stop him having financial control over me?

Once again, he has failed to pay my Child Maintenance on time. My mortgage is due tomorrow and still the CSA have not received his money. I could shift some money around; although even this is getting hard to do as my reserve tank that is there to pay my solicitor's bill for the transfer of property is being "borrowed" left, right and centre.

Thing is, he has NOT paid before; not just a late [...]

Living with verbal abuse / manic depression

evans.serena@gmail.com — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Hi all

I've been a member of this site for a few weeks now, and have spent many hours reading everyone's stories. I've only recently replied to a couple of posts but have been overwhelmed by the difficulties that so many people have gone through. So many people have been so brave and I'm only sorry, as I know everyone is, that some people can be so cruel and cause so much pain.

I'm coming to the end of my struggles now and thought I would write, partly to sha [...]

The Sexual Controller

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I apologise from the outset if this is hard reading and totally understand if you stop reading now. This is going to be hard to write but I have to do it for my own sake. This blog entry is for me, to work through thoughts and feelings that have been brought to the forefront.

Today's session of my course was all about the sexual controller. In comparison to others on my course I was lucky; yes lucky that I wasn't subjected to what they had to endure throughout their marriage.

Blog Introduction

duncan.webster@lloydstsb.co.uk — Sat, 31 May 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I have just left my wife of 8 years. Throughout our marriage my wife has been abusive both verbally and physically towards me. The verbal abuse is frequent (about once/week) and the physical abuse about once every 6 weeks. Last week I decided that enough was enough and (following another good kicking) told my wife that our marriage was over. I am 38 years old, living in the West.

Looking back, it amazes even me how little respect my wife gave me throughout our marriage. We have 2 l [...]

An international marriage gone horribly wrong

shivji@gmail.com — Sat, 10 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

It's tough to be a single man having had to fight to be able to get married and then fight to get divorced.

The marriage

I'm a 20-something Londoner and I got married to a lady from Lahore, Pakistan in 2006 after we'd met in quite random circumstances. At the time, we were in love and my family and friends were deeply supportive of my relationship. The distance was the biggest problem and so I had to fly all my family to Pakistan so that I could get married in accor [...]

The days are getting harder to cope with!

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Wed, 07 May 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I got my decree absolute on the 17th April, finances were completed and he was out of my hair but still in the children's lives.

WRONG!

I got my decree absolute (which had errors), I accepted not enough money because I was backed into an impossible corner and now face putting the house up for sale in an unstable market and throwing my little bit of security down the drain.

He is not out of my hair, in fact the abuse is now virtually on a daily basis again. I guess becaus [...]

Thoughts of the abused!

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Mon, 05 May 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Arrived for my course this morning feeling fairly subdued, not really wanting to face the reality of what staying in an abusive relationship has done to my children.

The first thing that was said is that we cannot blame ourselves for the effect all of this has had on our children because whilst we were with our abuser we had no power to protect them.

That goes against everything a mother stands for; the one thing above all else that she should be able to do is protect her ba [...]

I feel like I have lost something!

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Fri, 02 May 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Woke up this morning feeling quite empty; still the first thing to enter my head was Carl. Seems like life has little direction today but life goes on, it has to, with my 5 children and my 7 month old nephew needing my attention I tried not to dwell on things that could have been, maybe even should have been.

Mine & Carl's love for our respective children and the feelings felt for each others meant that we had to take the decision that neither of us could cope with the gui [...]

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

neesypoo1@netzero.com — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Why do I stay? What could be wrong woth me so bad that I let a man hold me down for 14 years? He lies, cheats and Drinks.... and I accept it. We are always without decent funds although he makes decent money. I know I don't spend it I sometimes don't leave my house for weeks or more. Not because he won't allow it but because i'm so depressed I don't want to. He doesn't physically abuse me but does hold our son over me, if I leave with him he will call the police for ki [...]

My Story....warts and all!

scooterboy1970@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I'm not really sure how I found myself in this position, nor am I sure of what exactly to write or how to structure my story. One thing I know is that everything I put into this story will be honest and accurate according to the best of my knowledge. I was married for 15 years and my divorce was finalised in January of this year.

I first met my ex-wife when I was 18 years old and she was 16. I was going out with a friend of hers but when she walked into the pub where we were on nigh [...]

So he still wants to control my life, & for a while I let him, why?

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Contact with the children has resumed with my stbx and hence so has the emotional abuse. After a few weeks of feeling safe with who I am becoming my stbx it still seems has the ability to make me feel worthless.

At a time when I should be enjoying my children I feel like I felt all the times he told me I was nothing. That I was fat,( he frequently called me Bubbles with reference to the Little Britain character), that I wasn't a good wife or mother and constantly p [...]

My story

juliefree@live.co.uk — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

My story sorry its so long it is just nice to write it down

I decided to divorce my husband on dec the 12th 2007 after trying to explain to him how his use of the internet was destroying our relationship. I am not a prude and would have loved a healthy relationship! But the internet was something which I did not want part of but it seemed to take over his whole life. He downloaded porn all the time and excluded me from having a normal relationship with him.... When I opened my h [...]