Blog Entries for Alan333

Yesterday (click to edit)

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Yesterday was a special day for many people.me ,my daughter , my wife and my partner. As I drove to the house where I my partner was staying.I had this terrible thought what if my daughter does not like her.I turned to my daughter, she looked happy.It was her that had asked me about my partner whilst in Cyprus.I at first told her that it was a little bit difficult to talk about these things,but she got round me and made me spill the beans. To my surprise, She became so happ [...]

I had to laugh

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I am sorry that I did not get back sooner after last weeks 5th mediation.I had to let the session sink in a bit. Well what can I say.....It was my wish list day...My wish was that I would allow my wife to be the main carer of my daughter and that the monies would be devided up 45-55% in my wife's favour.She on the other hand wanted a 40-60% split in her favour.For a whole hour we reminded eachother about our needs and how we really wanted what we wanted and why..With five minuets left on [...]

I am still going round in circles.

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

This will be my first blog since June,A new partner has taken away alot of emptiness I had been showing on wiki since January.It was strange to see that alot of my old friends that were on here have I hope for the better moved on,or are they like me still in limbo and just waiting.5th mediation will take place on wednesday.It's my wish list day....I have to say what I would like...I know it won't come true..It's just a game I suppose. For all tose who do remember me ,a big Hi X

On the Road......

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Thanks to mediation,My visa card fiasco should be over.A few words said by the mediator and all is back on track.I will pay my wife £100 cash a week on Thursdays for food and have a standing running float of also a £100,which will be topped up on proof of receipts.

Most of the time was spent by going through our finances.I showed everything I had and my wife pleaded poverty and could only come up with £4000 pounds the only money she had in the world.

Never mind. [...]

Mediation part 2

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Here we go again, another session at mediation.Tomorrow another day in the life of divorce.

I am not sure why I am going really.Since the last time I went (about three weeks ago) My wife and I have been the furthest away from each other mentally EVER. I took the visa card off her, she responded by getting her solicitors to write about 6 letters to mine. Each one costing a £2oo pound a throw.I have not and will not reinstate her card.

Her experiences of the last mediation wer [...]

Insanity

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 26 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I know some of my friends on wiki follow my blog.I try as much as I can to be positive in what I say because I know it is the only way forward.I thought I had found control over the future.Having solicitors and mediators on one's side.

Recently I had to cancel a joint visa card due to the fact that my wife ran up a £1700 bill in one month.I sought advice from my solicitor.They told me to leave £100 food money out for my wife and daughter and pay for anything else seprat [...]

Afloat

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 14 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

For sometime now I have been up and feeling positive,but there are moments when you feel you could just tip in to the depressive world,by somebody saying one more bad word to you or one negative thought.I still feel like I am going to get through this situation.It's just that my concentration has gone with there being too many things going on to think about.I tried to make lists,but they just get longer.I try to prioritise,what is the most important thing to do at this moment in time? My [...]

Mediation

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 07 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Well, I went to mediation.Very interesting to say the least.I found that the woman mediator was very unbiased.For me personally it has helped me move on in one session.I have agreed to sort out the financial disclosure with them rather than a solicitor.Saving me about £3000 if it works.My wife was very surprise to have to admit that she was a part owner of a house in Spain. The secrets out.... and more to come.The unreasonable behaviour from her has been shown up for the first time in a [...]

Stage 1

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 07 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Yesterday I signed the courts petition at my sols.Strange moment ,felt like I had bought a ticket for something,but did not know where it was going to take me. The feeling changed when my sol asked me ,"if my wife changed her mind would I want to scrap all the work she had done" ???????

Anyway today is Wednesday and I am off to the Mediator with my wife...That going to be real fun....Not..

Wish me luck,I let you know how I got on later .

X to all. < [...]

not so bad,really good

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Well,I have just paid my sol her first payment£600 pounds.It's been worth it as I see it so far.I have had somebody in the back ground looking after my interests.I still have not signed my petition and still waiting for the courts to issue it.

Four months now and not much further forward.

I have also finally agreed to go to mediation, just to see what is on the table.

I seem to have moved on so far from when I started my blogs.I am happy again with my lot.I decided [...]

BEING POSITIVE AGAIN.

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

What to say when all is well in your life....?That's the position I'm in now.

My new positive position has made me new friends. Which in turn has given me a better understanding of where I am and where I want to be.

For all those who have suffered by their partners,I can only now say what a lucky escape.

Being and staying positive is like a drug the more you are the more you'll be. Believe in yourself not as a couple, your children will grow up eventually and l [...]

Just a thought....

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

They say it is always easier to write a sad poem than a happy one....

Well I'm trying....

Feelin O.K

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Feeling O.k.

So I will cancel the councillor.It's a nice place to be . As of yet I have not seen any paperwork from my wife's sol for me to sign. I know it is coming and have no problem signing it when it does.

It has been a very strange time for me,I have on top of the emotions with divorce, had to cope with a shortage of work, a problem for me financially and emotionally. But it seems that, I have a little voice now that sits on my shoulder telling me daily that every [...]

Long time coming...

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

My blogs are becoming further and further apart.I am not sure if this is a good thing or not.

At the begining of my journey I was so wrapped up in the moment.The worries of what will be, the loss of my wife partner and my daughter.

I would say that I have come to some sort of understanding in myself and of my situation. We can all keep on being angry and hateful with others and ourselves for things that have happen. But at sometime we have to move on.

Most of us [...]

Just for the moment.

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I was going to say nothing to report a blog with nothing to add.But on reflection:

My daughter tonight told me that my wife had been last night on the wiki site .I said was she sure?She replied it was my icon picture that she had seen....Quietly I asked my wife if she had been on here? She went crazy shouting at my daughter and me,as if she had sided with the devil.I feel my wife did not get on wiki. But it is strange behaviour from my daughter who is 9 1/2 years old to have told such a [...]

Back on track with a difference..

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

5pm Tuesday evening.

Negative thoughts disappear.

What had happened to me?what had I gone through?why could I not get out of that spiralling hell?

It felt at 5pm on Tuesday that I had been through something,that I had never been through before. So desperate had I been througout the last three days,that I just wanted these feelings to stop.I was saying to myself this can't be happening to me.But it all was....Suddenly I had to face the menace of the unknown and drawin [...]

Hard to Accept.

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I like the idea that I write my blogs to make myself more positive and to see the path from where I have been mentally.For the last few days doubt and the feeling of failure have crept in to my life.This has affected me to such an extent that I have become paralysed.People say this is what happens,that the road is not straight,that there are lots of falls to overcome.When one is in this hole,it's difficult to see the way out....I shall start digging upwards and hope that my next blog is mor [...]

Coping Strategies....

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

The day has been quite.

Normally I feel the need to get away from the house away from the situation.

I am just feeling like a passenger in a waiting room,knowing that in a short time I will have moved on...

Stayed up late last night in the chatroom.It helpes me to be with people with a common interest and talking about everything else too.Thanks guys..Alan

Underlying feelings.

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

It's Friday has been a long week of balancing work,Solicitors and pleasures found in the chat room.Today i fell apart abit.I am in my work a reasonably acurate person,getting details right.I suppose I have been acurate for such a long time that I have forgotten the feeling of making mistakes.Today i made a fairly big mistake.It cost me the day and a fair amount of money....I ask myself ,am I just going through the motions as I try to battle with my emotions.I would like to say hey I'm up [...]

Still in there!

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I have been a bit pro active today going to estate agents,organising one to come to value the house,signed documents,delivered paperwork to solicitors and finding out what was the price of a 2 bed house in my area....I have had no dealings with my wife,since I had suggested joint custody for my daughter...It does not seem to be in my wifes plans.But it is now in mine and for my daughters sake.It can only be better for her as she will have a more balanced view of life.My wife is very strong wi [...]