Blog Entries for starry_eyes

Feel i cant cope

butterfly_colours@hotmail.com — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I thought i was doing quite well. Have started a new career 3 months ago, and enjoying it, financially a lot better off too, instead of worrying how to pay the next bill. Still get down at times about the ex, but more of a reflection then anything else.

The kids however are really making me feel miserable, sons just turned 15 and daughter will be 14 in a few weeks, yes two teenagers! Son has been in no end of trouble in school, and i've had to go to a m [...]

She's having a baby

butterfly_colours@hotmail.com — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Kids came back from seeing their dad and were very unhappy. He's just told them that his woman is having a baby in a months time. Youngest in particular is very upset hes 10. He's not speaking to his dad since hes told him (a week ago) and is very upset. Just before ex left (2 years ago) i lost a baby when i was 5 months pregnant, ex left a month after i lost him. In a way this is a reminder of that very sad time. Eldest (15) doesn't get o [...]

I should be happy shouldnt I?

butterfly_colours@hotmail.com — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Ok so separated from husband for two years, it's been 4 months since i got my decree nisi, so its all done and dusted.

Been on auto pilot since he left, and setting goals to make sure that good for nothing lieing heartless cheat wasn't going to get the best of me, so i started studying, it helped keep my mind occupied, instead of wasting time thinking of someone who was clearly not worth and had moved on with his life.

Wanted a career, so went for something i wanted [...]

It all comes flooding back.........

butterfly_colours@hotmail.com — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I went to the hospital today for some physio on a sprained ankle, i didnt expect to feel the way i felt. Hospitals have very sad memories for me. Around two years ago i lost a baby, i was 20 weeks pregnant and went for a routine scan, i was all excited and was looking forward to the scan pic to show the kids. I had a very rough pregnancy and spent most of it in hospital, as i did with my other children due to hyperemises, which is exce [...]

Feeling low

butterfly_colours@hotmail.com — Thu, 01 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I thought i had been doing so well, and as they say time is the greatest healer, but today something just snapped and i feel so angry and low. There was this stupid driver on the road, and cut a long story short we had words, when i got home i just felt so down. All the feelings and bottled up for such a long time surfaced, i thought of my ex, what a sh*thead he was, how he was merrily getting on with his life with his new woman, and seeing the kids whenever he wanted to, having the best of [...]

How Lucky Are We!

butterfly_colours@hotmail.com — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

My kids woke up extra early to give me my present, i knew what it was because the youngest gave it away yesterday, but i pretended i didnt have a clue, i unwrapped it, and they watched my face as i pretended to act like them when they unwrap their presents all excited, the main present was a foot spa, as they thought im so busy and so stressed at times i needed to unwind. Youngest told me how much it was and where from, the other two told him off! He just cant keep anything secret!

&n [...]