Blog Entries for downbutnotout

Feeling a lot better thanks to you all :-)

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 11:46:26 +0100

I really was down over the weekend but I was amazed at the number of you who took the time to leave me a supportive comment. It really is great to know that there are people on this site who "give a damn".

You'll be glad to hear that I am feeling quite a bit more chipper today, a good deal of my improvement in outlook is down to the support from all of you out there - thanks again :-)

I also wanted to apologise for feeling so negative. The strange thing is that I sti [...]

Feeling pretty depressed :-(

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 06:40:54 +0100

Just got paid 2 days ago - and already overdrawn. Paying 60% of my salary in interim SM each month is killing me. I am getting pretty miserable of living close to the bread line while she still refuses to work.

How can the courts justify giving her 100% of the realisable assets (FMH) and 30% of my pension. Leaving me with just 70% of a pension i cannot touch for 25 years plus over 40k in debts.

Also i continue to be denied any access at all to my son. Not contact, no phone calls, [...]

Dad to the rescue

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Mon, 21 May 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well today my Dad is coming to my rescue by paying off my solicitors bill to stop them from repossessing my house. To be frank i'm a bit embarrased that at the age of 40 I had to ask him for help.

This saga with my solicitor has been running for around a year and [...]

Missing my son badly

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Sun, 20 May 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I keep seeing other dads with their sons: playing football in the park, riding together on a motorbike or swimming in the sea. I miss my son desperately and hate that we are both missing out on each others company due to the spite of my soon-to-be-ex.

I have lived for the last 10 months in the south of france. During that time I have negotiated with her for him to be allowed to visit me three times, Xmas, Feb half term and most recently at Easter. Each time she has decided to veto the t [...]

Financial Dispute Resolution Hearing

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well, today was the FDR hearing in my local County Court. I arrived 1 hour ahead of the appointment as I understood that the protocol was to meet with the other party and their solicitor for an hour before going in to see the judge. This gives you an opportunity to negotiate a [...]

First Hearing

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 07:35:13 +0100

I've just got home from the first hearing. I had built it up in my head to be something really critical and somewhat daunting. Well I have to say it was an amazing anticlimax. The hearing was not held in a Rumpole of the Bailey style court room, which my imagination had been conjouring [...]

First Solicitor Meeting

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Fri, 06 Jan 2006 02:06:19 +0100

I had my first solicitor's appointment today. I showed him my petition document (citing adultery) and asked whether there was any disadvantage in admitting to this. According to the solicitor it is unusual to defend the divorce petition and there was no discrimination against me in the [...]

The petition arrives

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 11:26:55 +0100

I received in the post this morning a petition for divorce. Even though my wife had been threatening to do this for months, it was still a shock when it arrived. The grounds for the divorce are cited as adultery, and as my earlier postings imply - there is no real argument about that.

[...]

First Christmas

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Mon, 26 Dec 2005 00:00:00 +0100

My contract work in Switzerland is over, and I return with my new partner to the UK. We stay at my parents empty flat in the same town as I used to live with my wife and son.

I wake up on Christmas day with my girlfriend, and later that morning drive over to see my son for a couple of hours. I th [...]

A family holiday

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Fri, 16 Sep 2005 00:00:00 +0100

I spend a few days on a family holiday with my son and my estranged wife. We are civil with each other, in stark contrast to the many angry phone calls over the month of August. My son continues to be incredibly level headed over the whole separation. We have a fun time but I end the trip without any resolution or reconciliation. I think we both realise that it is over between us that my sympathy for my wife's illness is not a good enough basis to continue a stale marriage.

Some seriously bad news

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 00:00:00 +0100

My wife told me this week that she has been diagnosed with a serious illness. My immediate thought is to rush back to her. Over the last few days we have spent hours researching the condition on the internet, and even longer on the phone discussing what the prognosis is. The feelings of guilt and worry are eating away at me.

Stage 1 Anger

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 00:00:00 +0100

My wife is currently very much in stage 1 - she's mad as the angriest, most violent souls in the Seventh level of Dante's Hell.

I am getting up to 30 voice messages a day on my mobile. As I am overseas I have to pay 50p to listen to each message - and i have to because there might be some business messages in there somewhere. This voicemail flooding is the high tech version of taking a pair of sissors to my wardrobe of suits.

As well as the voice mails we hav [...]

Flying off to a new life

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Sun, 03 Jul 2005 00:00:00 +0100

I took-off from London Heathrow on a flight to Geneva with my girlfriend by my side, taking my life in a new and totally unplanned direction.

In many ways it feels that my life has been ripped from me. In the last month I have lost my job through redundancy, lost the car that came with the job, been thrown out of my house, lost the love of my wife and been separated from my son.

My life was good. No - it was great, but now everything is out of control, like an old house ripped o [...]

Today my life changed forever.

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Thu, 23 Jun 2005 00:00:00 +0100

Today my wife confronted me over a relationship I have started with another woman. She found out when a friend phoned to say they had seen me and my wife together in Brighton. However, it wasn't my wife - it was my mistress!

She went ballistic (understandably) and threw me out of the house there and then, taking from me my house keys for goo [...]