Blog Entries for rubytuesday

Take Care, Love Ruby xx

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Its been a tough few weeks for me. I'm now coming through to the other side slowly, but am starting to see the sunshine again. I know that, in time, the black clouds that darken my horizon will one day be gone.

I've been so wrapped up in all that has happened recently, so self-asorbed that I have, at times, lost sight of what is important. If I dont start to show appreciation for all that I have, I may be in danger of losing it.

Going through divor [...]

A bit of a mess......

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I'm not sure where to begin with this blog – things have been a bit of a mess recently.

My house went on the market last week – I only found out that it was actually on the market from someone in the local shop, who had seen it in the paper! A week later, I have still yet to be informed by the estate agents that my house is now up for sale. An offer came in on Tuesday mo [...]

Forgetting How To swim.....

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I had a better day yesterday, went out of the house, sorted out some stuff, cooked and ate a "proper meal", and slept well.

But today........

Today, I feel like runing away from everything. Everything that I have been waiting to happen, waiting for months, has now finally happened, and I feel overwhelmed by it all. I feel like I have forgotten how to swim and Im starting to drown.

This isnt like me - I have been strong throughout these past 12 months, [...]

Struggling at the end of my journey

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:00:00 +0100

On Tuesday, I am due at the sols to sign the very simple form that will legally end my marriage - nothing more than ticking a few boxes and writing my name and address, then signing it. Such a simple end to a long and emotional journey. One I have waited a year for.

I had thought that I could sail through this last bit, it would be pain-free. How foolish and stupid of me. I dont want him back (god, no!), but I do regret that the marriage ended the way it did. I [...]

I am Alive!

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I am alive - because I have been bought back to life. No more the the empty shell, the woman who couldnt look others in the eye, the one who fell to pieces at the slightest thing. I am alive.

I can breathe deeply, fly freely, think without fear, act with conviction and love without reservation. I hold my head high, knowing that I am a good woman, a devoted mother, a loyal friend and a loving, respecting very best friend.

To be finally free fr [...]

Shopping

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next fl [...]

Thinking Positvely

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 01:00:00 +0100

My children are back home, the house that had stood empty, quiet and tidy during their absence is now back to a noisy, chaotic, messy home - yay! Funny, isnt it,I had looked forward to some quiet time on my own, but when it came, I turned into a mardy moo!

In my previous blog, I said I had spent most of my time thinking, I ve come to the conclusion that I shouldnt think when I'm a bit low, having a blip, whatever you want to call it,as it means I tend [...]

Thinking Time

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Ive had the house to myself since Friday morning - the first time since March. This girls are away all weekend, as thier father was getting married yesterday. I've no feelings either way about his marriage - we ended our 9 year relationship some 7 years ago, so any feelings I had for him have been long gone.

Ive been a bit of a sadsack these past couple of days, mooching about the house, with little idea of how to occupy myself - I start a [...]

Counting My Blessings

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Time to count my blessings, I think.

Two years ago, on the 11th of October, my friend died. She was only 38 years old, and had 3 young children under the age 0f 7, and a devoted husband.She was an amazing woman, full of life, humour, and love for her family. She left a lasting impression on all who had the fortune to meet her. To have your life snatched away from you like that makes me realise just how fortunate I am to wake up every morning breathing.

The [...]

10 months on.....

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Just another 8 weeks to go until my divorce papers can be submitted to the court. Under Scottish Law, and with the simplified process, the soonest one can submit divorce papers is under the 12 months non-cohabitation clause. Well, it’s now been 10 months since he left, so just another 8 short weeks until I can request that our marriage is declared legally ended.

The house is on the market, and I’ve n [...]

Why Blogging Is Cathertic

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I’ve been trawling through my past blogs, dating back some 9/10 months. I wouldn’t say it was light reading, but it was interesting and useful to re-read old blogs, and see my own progress in black and white.

This road we are all on, the emotional roller-coaster we ride is a life-changing experience, a learning curve. The first tentativ [...]

In Bluer Skies

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I debated as to whether or not to write this blog, felt it wasn’t of significance to others, but its important to me, and hey, this is my blog after all!

The past few weeks have been well, life changing to say the least. I had my head firmly stuck in the sand, and couldn’t see the point in removing it. Its better just to stay there and not deal with emotions, right?

[...]

Almost There......

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Yesterday I signed the Separation Agreement, the document that deals with the finances and assets division. The rights and wrongs, the fairness, or unfairness of what’s in it is no longer relevant, it is signed and posted. There is no going back. All I have to do now is wait until November then I can divorce him on the grounds of 12 months non-cohabitation – that is just 3 months away. I have to admit to doing something childish – I have long wanted the wor [...]

Friendships

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0100

It has taken me a long time to realise this, in fact it has only been tonight that I was able to see this, clearly and properly.

Its never been easy for me to allow others to climb over the brick wall that I built around myself years ago, for my own protection. From time to time, someone will see past the bricks, and find the real me hiding behind, and stay there, but not often. Those that Ive allowed to get close to me are precious to me in all kinds of differ [...]

Worries

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Just when I thought I was doing really well, and all in the garden of life was blooming, it start to rain, not just a light refreshing shower, but a great deludge of big fat raindrops.

My worries are minor in comparison to many, I realise that, but they are still there, occupying my head all the time, pushing the good thoughts and feelings to the back of my mind.

Housewife's Final Blog

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

When I started writing my blog, I found it easier to invent an alter-ego and write as though what was happening to me, was actually happening to someone else. Although I wrote in the first person, it, for me, was less difficult to describe the emotions of “housewife”, rather than the emotions of Ruby. (Hope that makes sense?) So instead of blogging as Housewife in the future, I intend to blog as me.

I often wonder how others see me, after all, we never see ourselves as others do. Perhaps others see a more realistic personality than we do ourselves.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I stepped outside the house with a cheery smile on my face, and pretended to one and all that my world is just fine, thank you, while inside, im crumbling like a sand dune in a hot desert wind. Is it better to be a [...]

Housewife and the Guilt

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 20 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I found it difficult to sleep last night, as I was going over and over 2 seperate conversations I had had with my daughters yesterday.

D2, who will be 9 in July, was chatting away yesterday on the way to school when she told me that she didnt like men drinking, and that she hadnt felt safe going in the car with X2B, as she thought he might have been drunk, she then said something that I found very difficult to hear, she told me that she had never felt safe jus [...]

Houswife and the Purse Strings (part 2)

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Thank you to everyone who left comments on my previous blog regarding my options relating to the financial settlement.

I have spent a great deal of time thinking about what my options are, and in short, they are very few! However, I have had to weigh up what is more important to me - money or closure. Closure wins, hands down. I knew that if I fought out a settlement, then the closure I seek would become further and further away from me. For me, what is important is closing this chapt [...]

Housewife and the Pursestrings

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Well, the nightmare that is the financial negotiations has started. Last week, I received a copy of the letter my x2b’s sols sent to mine, in which my offer of a clean break was turned down flat - and instead a less than fair (and acceptable) offer was made by x2b. I wasn’t surprised at this, it was to be expected, but I still got annoyed by it. Nice to know that despite all his unreasonable behaviour, mental abuse, and controlling behaviour, he still feels that he is in a posi [...]