Friends

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I’ve always been somewhat of a distant person. Always had the attitude of ‘you take me as you find me, if that works for you then fine, if it doesn’t then that’s your problem’. In the past some people have commented that it makes me difficult to get to know, that I’ve seemed standoffish.

I like to think that it’s an honest approach, it’s how I feel. It’s slightly arrogant I know, but not in a malicious way. I mean, I think people sh [...]

On the subject of small talk

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

OK, never been one with a gift of the gab, always had to think about what I'm going to say, or maybe, always made myself think about what I was going to say.

I was in the lift at work the other day and a very attractive (way out of my league, thankfully not my type) lady got in. So, I'm standing there thinking "OK, talk to her, practise your conversational approach".

So I said "good morning". To which she answered "Hel [...]

Next time I'm feeling sorry for myself...

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I'm going to read ChrisM's blog post here http://www.wikivorce.com/joomla/Divorce-Blogs/My-Story......./View.html again.

Man, am I lucky.

Songs not to listen to...

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

[Edited, again, forgot one more]

If you're on a downer, in no particular order.

1) The First Cut is the Deepest, Sheryl Crow

2) Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

3) Open Your Eyes, Snow Patrol

4) I Can't Be With You, The Cranberries

5) Kiss This Thing Goodbye, Del Amitri

6) Where is Your Heart, Kelly Clarkson

7) Everybody Hurts, R.E.M (this is a killer)

8) Lay Your Love On Me, Roachford

9) If it Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow

10) [...]

Haven't written anything for a while

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Not quite sure why not, to be honest.

I have things to say but can't summon up the energy to write them down. Maybe it's a lack of conviction as I seem to be a bit directionless at the moment. I guess this is another stage in the natural process and for me it was like this:-

1) Disbelief when I was told it was over

2) Confusion as to why, when, how, who

3) Anger at not being allowed to deal and sort it

4) Resignation at the inevitability of it

Obviously, it was only a matter of time

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well, I've just spent the last 30 minutes consoling our daughter (M). She's here on a visit this evening and all was going well until bed time when the "why can't you and mummy live together" questions started.

Lots of tears from both of us and she called X2B who did a good job of getting her to laugh for a while. Unfortunately, that disappeared when M finished the phone call. More tears and more questions.

I'm hoping that tiredness is playing a big factor i [...]

On a downer this morning

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

My first day truly alone yesterday, woke up alone, went to bed alone. I guess that has something to do with it. Had a good evening as it happens, drank a few beers, had a good chat to a friend, nothing special but real "me" time for a change.

However, this morning there were tears during the walk to work. Not full on crying but enough to make me put my sunglasses on which in the half light of 7:30am must have looked stupid. I thought I looked cool, the people I passed thought I [...]

The first single dad weekend

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

It went well. I was sooo nervous but no need really. We did ‘stuff', snuggled on the sofa and watched CBeebies, stuck fluorescent stars on her bedroom ceiling (that was fab!! Really brilliant!!!), went shopping, did colouring in etc. etc. etc. etc. All ‘normal' stuff for a ‘normal' weekend.

Someone on this site gave me some advice a while ago. It was something like, don't try and make it ‘the best weekend ever' because you will set yoursel [...]

The moving out process

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Friday was moving out day, officially.

I had spent the previous few days moving boxes and stuff to the new apartment with ‘men with a van' coming 10:30 to do the few furniture items that wouldn't fit in the car.

I was OK, surprisingly calm and collected. X2B had taken our daughter (M) to school and was doing some shopping for me as well so she was out of the way. I had managed to get everything sorted out and prepared before men with a van turned up. Boxes and stu [...]

Nearly there.....

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:33:06 +0100

Most of the packing is done and “Man with a van” is coming round 10:30 in the morning to move the few pathetic items I’m taking with me. Mostly stuff X2B doesn’t want. Fine.

I can’t wait to move out, I wish I could go now.

But the plan is for tomorrow and we’ll stick to that.

My own worst enemy

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well, here I am again, unable to sleep. With the exception of 1 day in the last 5 or so, I have been in the same position. It's really irritating.

People have told me in the past that I think too much. They're right.

I wind myself up about the smallest of things at the moment. Mostly, this is because I haven't re-levelled my relationship with X2B. When she says she'll do something, I expect too much. I expect it to be like the old days. I expect her to do what she [...]

Getting there, slowly

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well, the last few of days have been an interesting experience.

First there was the delayed reaction from M and the associated upset, we handled that well I think.

Next, there was the ongoing packing process which I have been doing whilst our daughter (‘M') is at school so as not to force the point home too much. It's surprising how little one actually has when you strip away the furniture and other household items that will be saying with X2B. The plus side is that this [...]

Looks like it�s finally sunk in

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

No, not for me, it did that some time ago. But for X2B and our daughter (‘M’).

We told M on Friday about the separation and there were a few tears which disappeared when we gave her a mobile phone!! Kids eh?!?! She took it well which led X2B and I to wonder if she had fully understood.

She hadn’t.

Last night sh [...]

Today...

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

...was never going to be a good day.

It's my birthday (anyone bored with hearing that yet?) and I'm 40.

It wasn't the 40th celebration I would have hoped for but at least it was a family day.

Breakfast in bed (which consisted of half a Thorntons Chocolate cake) and then off to the cinema to see Ratatouille (again). Then shopping for new stuff for M's (daughter) other bed room.

Now back at home (oh, but it isn't h [...]

My name's Andrew...

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

...and I'm not an alcoholic.

OK, if you've been following the story so far but haven't reqd my blog post immediately before this, go read it now!!!

Having said I'm not an alcoholic I am a few drinks down due to the stresses of the day so forgive me if I make even less sense than usual.

Now that our daughter knows, it's time to reveal my true identity.

No, I'm not famous.

No, I'm not rich.

No, I'm not married anymore (well, I [...]

It went well....