Blog Entries for scottishlady

One Year On.........

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Hi Everyone.....

A year ago today my husband walked out of my life without a word..... 20th July 2007... a day I shall never forget.....

Shortly afterwards I found this site.... it was a godsend, I can tell you!!!!

The support and advice I got from members was amazing..... something I shall ALWAYS be grateful for..... so, for those of you who are still around - thankyou!!!! - I'm not sure how I would have coped without your wise and kind words...

One year on today. [...]

Contribution

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I find myself reading so many posts about who contributed what to this and that.....

I find this personal...... as, six or seven months ago, after my stbx left me (without a word).... he decided to call me to tell me he wanted to sell our home of 20+ years, and he wanted to be divorced (for the 3rd time)....

We, as most people do, had some to-ing and fro-ing about financials..... and he said that I should have 50% of the equity in the house - [...]

What A Week!!!!!

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

It's been a busy week in the SL Household...... I was busy having valuations done on the house, as we have to agree a valuation by 4pm tomorrow, otherwise the court will appoint a valuer... which we will have to accept and pay for.....

I had a call from my sol early in the week.... she'd had a call from his sol, he wants a valuation done by a particular agent, and would I agree for that to be done?........I said "yes - no problem".....she said she'd let his sol kno [...]

NOW He Wants To Talk To Me !!!!

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

For anyone who knoes my story.... you will know that my STBX walked out six months ago, while I was at work.... I had no idea our marriage of 17 years was in trouble.... I then found that he had taken all our money (left me 500 pounds)... I then found out that he had been having an affair.... His actions were extremely cowardly... no explanation... no discussion.... just gone!!!!!

Anyway.... I have heard from him a couple of times... at the very beginning... he wants to sell the hous [...]

That'll Be That Then !!!!

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Well..... that's the 'First Appointment' over with.... except... it was adjourned... My STBX has been ordered to file and serve the missing documentation within 21 days..... As expected, nothing much else happened.... He made a fuss about the valuation on the house.... I was asked to get a valuation done to go along with my Form E... which, true to form, I did.... I got a valuation done by one of the most used estate agents in the area.... but, now we have been ordered, either to a [...]

Who Needs Tomorrow????

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Not me - that's for sure!!!! I have spent a little time today reading over my blogs.... trying to see 'how far I'd come' since the first time I put fingers to keyboard... The reason for this being...I am 'at court' tomorrow for my 'First Appointment'..... I am told by my sol that we will both 'have to attend'.. I read on a forum post... that actually, one can apply not to attend due to travel distance etc..... and I am hoping that STBX is aware of this, a [...]

Goodbye To The Worst Year Of My Life

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Goodbye 2007... boy, will I be glad to see the back of this year!!!!!

Never, in my wildest imagination did I think that this year would bring me such heartache... sorrow.... sadness.... confusion.... anger....

Now...I don't consider myself the brightest person in the world.... nor, do I consider myself the most stupid.... I'm an average, reasonably intelligent, reasonably articulate sort of person....

I thought I was happily married to a man I dearly lov [...]

Angry Flowers ?

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Okay.... it's a stupid title but there's two blogs in one here!!! lol

Flowers.... "you don't buy me flowers anymore"

Very apt.... as my STBX always bought me flowers....... birthday's... christmas'es.... anniversaries....

The reason being..... he knows/knew how much I love fresh flowers in my home.... and he knew how much I appreciated the thought and effort behind him sending me flowers....

No matter where he was in the co [...]

Face Him In Court?

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

"Will You Be Okay With That????"..... my sol asks........ errrr. NO !!!!

A quick Update.....

My husband left our home over 3 months ago.... not a word.... nothing wrong as far as I knew..... found out the following day he had wiped out our bank account - alarm bells ring....

Anyway... it comes to light that he had infact left me.... taken all our money.... a few weeks down the line, found out he had been having an affair for 8 months (ish [...]

Calm Down SL

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 05:56:17 +0100

I am absoloutely livid!!!!!!

Just came back from an appointment with my sol....

It now seems that not only has my STBX cheated and lied for months.... he has now developed a gambling problem...

His sol writes " He has lost all the money gambling"..... YEAH RIGHT !!!!!!

So.... all the money that he took when he left me 3 months ago... plus the 1K he earns each week has all of a sudden dwindled to £1,200.00.. oh.. &qu [...]

My Effect !!!!

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Hot on the heeels of my last blog........

I am beginning to wonder if this is the effect I have on men???

I went to watch 'Meatloaf in Concert' last night......

An excellent show..... until..... he walked off stage in the middle of a song.... "I can't continue - thanks for 30 years" - WHAT????

There I was... feet stomping, arm waving.... then - that's it... gone - finished..... lol... sound familiar???

&nb [...]

The Other Person....

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I have found myself over the past week or so thinking about the person that my STBX had/has been having an affair with....

I feel very little about this person.... I think I am supposed to feel anger/resentment/hatred for this person - but I don't...

I don't know this person.... I am curious about her....

I wonder why she would involve herself with someone who is married with a family......

Does she feel any 'guilt' about being 'involved' in the [...]

Feeling Cheesed Off !!!!!

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I don't know why I am feeling 'cheesed off'..... but I AM !!!!

I think it is probably because of the fluctuating emotions that everyone goes through when they are taking 'the divorce route'..

Yesterday I had a brilliant day - the best in the three months since my STBX left me.... I met a friend for Lunch... which lasted until 6pm... we ate lunch in a nice little Italian Restaurant in town... then we had a walk down to the quayside (the 'trendy' part of [...]

20th July - 20th Oct'

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

On the 20th of July, my husband left our home....(while I was at work).... it is now nearly three months on... and the range of emotions that I have experienced has been vast!!!!

I didn't know he was about to leave me.... I didn't know there was anything amiss in our marriage... I thought we were perfectly happy...

I didn't hear anything from my husband for seven weeks... but in the meantime he wiped our bank account out... I learned that he had been havin [...]

Bringing It Home....

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Today I had a valuation done on our house..... as part of the 'financial disclosure' my solicitor asked for.....

The very nice lady from the estate agent walked around 'our' house, taking measurements.... saying "what a lovely house this is"... "this house will sell without a problem"........ usual stuff they say I imagine....

I didn't really 'feel' anything.............

She gave me the price that they would 'put it on the [...]

Feeling Brighter

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

It's been a while since I blogged....

but, I'm feeling a lot brighter...so wanted to write it down (so I can come back to it)....

I went to bed...couldn't sleep (got a rotten cold)... but was just laying there thinking about things..

I am aware that there is a long way to go yet... but my emotions seem to have settled a bit these past couple of weeks... I will deal with the practical issues as and when they arise, and hopefully with far less emotion than I was si [...]

I want my life back!!!!!

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I know it isn't going to happen......... but what I wouldn't give to have everything back when it was 'okay' (although it obviously wasn't)

I long for life to be 'normal'..... to go through each day with everything being 'just so'...... instead of having every waking moment filled with 'what happened'.....'where did it go wrong'.....' what did I do wrong'.........'why did he do this'.........'how could he treat me [...]

One of those days...........

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

.....................I WILL stop crying!!!!!!!

I am waiting for that day.......jeeeez.... just one whole day without bursting into tears at the most inappropriate times....

Went back to work on Monday after a weeks hols..... "how are you?".... that's it - away I go!!!!!

The strange thing is I am not a 'crying' sort of person.... and I usually pretty much 'just get on with it'..... this feeling is totally alien to me....

Walking around the [...]

Famine or Feast !!!

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well.... it seems after seven weeks of virtually no contact my x2b cannot talk to me enough!!!!!

He called twice yesterday...... three times today.....

The upshot of it is ...... he wants 'to get things sorted'.....

Yesterday he admitted to having an affair - today he denies it - "I'm 55 years of age for christ sake".......

During the first phone call today I advised him to get a solicitor..... he called back 2 or 3 hours later...... "I' [...]

Hearing The Truth Hurts

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Where to start.....

Well.... a quick recap.... over seven weeks ago now, my husband left... wiping out our finances as he went....

He didn't get in contact....I wasn't sure exactly where he was..... but through sheer luck, I managed to find out... thanks to him not redirecting his mail....

Anyway.... skip to today - what a day!!!!!!

Firstly, the post brought his mobile phone bill..... there was one number that came up hundreds of times.... a mobile number.... t [...]