Blog Entries for mike62

And the walls came tumbling down�.

mikehart@boltblue.com — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Some of the regulars may have noticed me conspicuous only by my absence. Not like me to hide away, but it all got a little too much a few weeks ago.

I have been struggling as ‘Dad’ to maintain a good relationship with my children, as myself and the ex have diametrically opposing views on childcare. The ex seems to think it is a good idea to allow the children pretty well free reign on most [...]

The root of all evil?

mikehart@boltblue.com — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 01:00:00 +0100

It is just about 12 months since my wife moved out to her own place and took our children to live with her. I have them from Friday evening to Sunday evening. One of my biggest fears in the separation for the children was that they would adopt the stbx's selfish, materialistic, media and hype driven 'must have now at all costs' mentality.

Sadly it seems that has come to pass. Managed to get my eldest (16B) a job at a local 5* hotel over the summer holiday [...]

Wheely, wheely tyred of all this

mikehart@boltblue.com — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Sunday morning, 7:35.... ring, ring....
ZZZZZZ, Grunt, Hello?
Michael? (Oooeeer Sunday name..Not good then...)
Yes?
Got a problem
What's that?
Puncture

The significance is that she is supposed to collect the Sunday chambermaid on her way in from her rented house, 8 miles from our hotel, for her breakfast shift - Full house, 22 for breakfast. My morning off.

The impact is that I have to leap out of bed, run around like a headless chicken [...]

My Wikiversary

mikehart@boltblue.com — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Well, today is my Wikiversary. 12 months since I joined this site. What a 12 months too!

Seeing Scottishlady's blog the other day got me thinking about what has happened in those 12 months. I have changed a lot as a person. I wouldn't say that I was especially naive, but I am a hell of a lot more guarded now than I can ever remember. I am a good deal happier than I was 12 months ago, although I don't feel that my divorce has moved forward too [...]

Going Batty!

mikehart@boltblue.com — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Absolutely nothing to do with my divorce, but last night was so surreal, I thought I would share it with you.

For those that don't know me, I own and operate a small country house hotel with my STBX in Lancashire. I also do a midweek job, building a gas pipeline in Yorkshire. Long old day. Get back from pipeline work, then drop into Basil character at hotel.

Last night started much like any other night. Got back from Wetherby at about 9pm. We had a few guests stayin [...]

How not to start married life

mikehart@boltblue.com — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I thought I would share this little tale, to illustrate how marriages can get into difficulties from an early stage. It also explains why I was in a foul mood this weekend!

For those who don't know me, I have a small country house hotel and run it with my stbx. Basil and Sybil in the flesh.

First wedding of 2008. 65 guests for the wedding breakfast and the bride's mum is doing a Hyacinth Bouquet. She is so making a point about 'look at us, we are special [...]

12 month point - Life goes on

mikehart@boltblue.com — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Well, 12 months since I was told that 'our' marriage was over. I felt the need to mark it in some way, so another outpouring into the blog machine seemed as good a way as any. It's good to write. The blog machine doesn't judge, doesn't comment, just takes whatever I throw it's way. It's my 16th wedding anniversary on Friday. Shan't be rushing out to buy the card and flowers this year. I suppose that she will be feeling a bit fragile about it too. Should mak [...]

So much for a happy New Year......

mikehart@boltblue.com — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:45:12 +0100

Well, I was so positive, but life has a habit of coming and kicking you in the goolies, just when things seem to have settled.

Last Saturday, full of the Xmas cold bug that is circulating, the STBX gives me a pile of post to look at. Bills, bank statements, special offers, and a thick plain brown A5 envelope that has my middle name on it. Must be serious. It's her petition. Despite agreeing a two year, no-fault divorce nearly a year ago, she has decided [...]

Happy New Year....hopefully!

mikehart@boltblue.com — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I was feeling quite pleased with myself that I had got through Christmas feeling relatively calm and unscathed. It went well - STBX had kids on Christmas Day and delievered them to me on Boxing Day. I spent Christmas day alone, wrapping my kids presents and generally just chilling out. Had a great day with them on Boxing Day, doing the presents and Christmas Dinner and all the usual stuff. Really enjoyed my time with them - more so than for some time, as it was just me and them - no famil [...]

Sybil's revenge...

mikehart@boltblue.com — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

What do I do next? I am beginning to think that she has some kind of illness. Yesterday, she got a locksmith out to open the apartment and her former bedroom. After the door had been opened, she got one of the staff to accompany her into the room and witness her taking two new watches and a new digital camera out. Whatever it was she really wanted, she has obviously taken before getting the member of staff. To add insult to injury, she paid him cash from the till and left the receipt for me [...]

Amicable? more like Armegeddon!

mikehart@boltblue.com — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 03:01:00 +0100

Just when you think you have gone as low as you can, something comes along to remind you that there is always lower. The STBX and I co-own and operate a small hotel. Normally we have a chef, but she gave him the week off this week. Normally STBX is second chef. Normally I run the bar and front of house. This weekend was far from normal. STBX moved out on Tuesday, in a very confrontational manner. Friday we had a full hotel. STBX waited until I got home f [...]

When trust is gone....

mikehart@boltblue.com — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 09:56:42 +0100

Oh my, Hell hath no fury like a woman who thinks someone has got one over on her. Things have taken a serious turn for the worse. She has lost the plot, and reached rock bottom, but is continuing to dig.

Briefly, she took over a rental house on Monday. Tells me on Monday night that she is going to be decorating kids room before she start moving anything in. I have been asking her for a fortnight to give me a list of things she wants to take, so that we can manage the transition an [...]

The calm before the storm, or how to survive your kids leaving

mikehart@boltblue.com — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Somewhat calmer today. Last night, spoke to two of my chiildren, the STBX had sent my daughter off on a sleepover with a friend. Children never cease to amaze me with their angle on the world at large. The 8 yo is very excited about his new home. Taking Sadie's advice, I asked him how he was feeling about his new home. He told me at great length and in great detail all about the house (it needs a bit of painting), the garden (would be great for the dog, even though its not as big as our [...]

Angry, fuming and generally livid

mikehart@boltblue.com — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Oh dear, where to begin. Recap - Co-own hotel with STBX. Also work a day job Mon - Fri, to ease cahsflow in hotel. She decides that if I won't move out of the hotel, she will. So has gone and rented a house. Announces to me that she is going, and taking kids. Kids B15, G12, B8. I point out to her that it is not ncessarily up to her to decide where the kids may or may not want to live. The elder 2 will have their views taken into account by a court, and they may NOT want to leave ho [...]

25 years? Get less for murder

mikehart@boltblue.com — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Having a funny old day today. Thoughts all over the place, head in bits. Nothing new there then! :lol: Our hotel hosted a silver wedding at the weekend. Have known the couple since I was at school, going on 30 years. Seeing them so happy and fulfilled, with all their children, friends and family around them upset me. That just isn't going to be for me. So it's a feeling sorry for myself day. Get it out of my system and write it all down. Feel better for having done something posi [...]

Not one of the better days....

mikehart@boltblue.com — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 05:30:36 +0100

Forgive the outburst of self pity that is likely to follow..... I am having a bad day. I am in that phase of alternately believing that it can be repaired and there is a future and that it is all over. The complications of living and working in your business premises with your former wife and your children are at best challenging. Last night I returned from working at 7:45pm to be asked by the STBX to put up the family tent in the back garden so that the children can camp ou [...]

Is this the end or the beginning?

mikehart@boltblue.com — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:26:05 +0100

Here I am, 45 years old, three fabulous kids, 22 years with my wife, married for 15, contemplating the final exit. Not through my choice.....Appearently I'm no longer sexually attractive, she doesn't love me and she doesn't want me around. It was my wife's 40th birthday in January. We co-own and operate a hotel business, and the previous year has been a very difficult one, both financially and emotionally. The business had been performing poorly and I took a [...]