Blog Entries - February 2008

Day 8 SATURDAY

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Thanks Mike for your supportif words.I will always be the father regardlessthat I will.On Thursday first meeting with solicitor.I got myself a bit worked up with a rash on my face. The meeting was strange .I was asked questions about things that I would not have dreamed that they would ask.Brought back alot of emotion.I did not sign anything although I took my pen.It seems that part of the paperwork was incorrect as a legal document. Apparently I am to try to work out now a deal with my wife [...]

Contribution

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I find myself reading so many posts about who contributed what to this and that.....

I find this personal...... as, six or seven months ago, after my stbx left me (without a word).... he decided to call me to tell me he wanted to sell our home of 20+ years, and he wanted to be divorced (for the 3rd time)....

We, as most people do, had some to-ing and fro-ing about financials..... and he said that I should have 50% of the equity in the house - [...]

Hope Everything will be OK

cazzybradley@hotmail.com — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Hi there,

Am new to this site, rather nervous and not sure about where to start. Kinda hope writing this will help. I suppose I am after some opinions/advice from those who are going through a divorce....

I am 29, have known my husband for 11 years, he is 5 years older than me. We have been on and off for those 11 years - got back together 3 years ago. We took it slow this time, I wanted to see where things would go and after a year and a bit things were going really well and we [...]

My Fairytale And Happy Endings ...

pjismyboo@hotmail.com — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

When I was a child fairytales told me that sad stories have happy endings and good people were rewarded and evil people were punished. If only in the real world this were true there would always be happy endings. My marriage would have lasted for ever and ever we would have lived in happiness, contentment and fidelity.

I now know this is not an ideal world and that the a loving and committed relationship knows no bounds, but similarly the agony that two humans are able to [...]

counselling update

ricky.allan62@hotmail.co.uk — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

well, i am not afraid to admit that i had huge issues dealing with my wifes affair with one of my best mates. It certainly makes you feel like a failure both in your marriage and in that friendship, however i would urge anyone who gets the opportunity to attend counselling sessions , and i know some people have to be far stronger and have to dig deeper for that stregnth if they dont get that opportunity and my hat goes off to them.what ever methods we take none of us are failures, infact we [...]

What Hotel booking?

jayne.roberts@virgin.net — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

amazing just opened our 'mr & mrs' post and guess what? hotel booking confirmation! I just cant stop reading it. He is actually useing Mr & Mrs! I have viewed hotel on website even phoned them to check booking 'superior' room. King size bed. I am gutted. We couldnt go anyway much for 10 years as we were working on business & restoring deralict house. I feel like phoning and cancelling his reservation so he loses deposit and is in shit when he gets there. Can I be that [...]

Reallly bad day.

home2war@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I'm new to this site. Feeling really really low right this minute. Husband just brought the children home from a night out.

He left me last Tuesday after promising me a few days before he wanted to give it another go, unfortunately he didn't make the effort to tell his new 'friend'. I have met her, found them having a cosy meal for two in a romantic restaurant, I don't think they will go there again after I announced I was his wife to all and sundry!

I feel [...]

Housewife Swimming For Shore

flopsybunny_uk@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I keep having this recurring dream. I am in the middle of the North Sea, it is night time, and all around me is pitch-black. The water is freezing, and there is only the sound of the sea. I am treading water, but the sea keeps pulling me under, I am sinking.

I wait for someone to come and rescue me, but I do not hear the sound of the search and rescue copter, or the coastguard's vessel. They will come soon, I say to myself, someone must know where I am. Still I wait, fighting the [...]

A whirlwind and a Tornado

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 01:00:00 +0100

So, I met the man of my dreams yesterday. After an initial few minutes of awkwardness you would expect from meeting anyone for the first time it just felt like we had known each other forever. We had a walk along the beach and I really feel like the old Sarah found herself again. I could be myself, my real self; I didn't have to hold back. He would tell you I am mad, but I hope a good mad. He is the whole package; the chemistry was so definitely there too. He makes me feel so alive, so wa [...]

Day 4

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Another day,But to my surprise not feeling too bad.It must have been all that ranting yesterday.

Bad day today

jayne.roberts@virgin.net — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

received a romantic text from 'soon to be ex' today. confirming booking at hotel etc sounded sooooo nice, except he sent it to me by mistake! cant believe it. I really fell for the 'theres no one else' line. I feel shattered. havent confronted him. just cant. Only moved out this month and have been replced instantly! Of course he has no money, cant do anything but can manage this. All while I manage our business. Guess I have to use it to my advantage to move on and accept we are [...]

crossroads

ricky.allan62@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

i guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, but when it does it dont make it any easier. You see my STBX and her BF are trying to play happy families with his boys and scott my son, all along so far they have not wanted to be with their dad when she has been around. However that has changed and they will now stay at his place when she is there. Now one of the boys was my sons best friend untill all this happened, but they are in the same class at school and still play with each other, and [...]

losing my home

Francineshipley@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

My in-laws phoned at 3am waking me up, looking for my husband; apparently he was supposed to be back at theirs before midnight but stayed out. At 4.30am I got a phone call from my husband asking to come home. He said he loved me, missed me, and couldn't be without me.

At 8.30am I phoned him to ask if this was still the case. He was rude, abrasive, told me he didn't love me anymore and wants a divorce.

I have the day to move out of our home. He [...]

Day 3

freedobjects@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I recieved my papers on Saturday.it didn't surprise me.seeing that I had lived a separated life for three years.I continued on making my lunch as if nothing had bothered me at all.Sunday:Woke up feeling sick .from the heart a strange feeling like somebody had died.I questioned myself was it me that had left the nest, the home, the life of those around me.I tried to keep calm and try to think of other things.Monday:Finally read the paperwork.Who looks after daughter?..MOTHER who pays the [...]

he packed a bag and was gone

Francineshipley@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

He left me last night. Packed a bag and said he was going to his parents for the week. Apparently we need time apart to reassess what matters to us individually and as a couple; I am not contact him or he'll walk away for good.

I had the humiliation of explaining to my daughter's teacher this morning the situation at home. I was trying so hard not to cry, my voice started cracking up, but I'm relieved that I managed to finish the meeting without breaking down. S [...]

Separation then Divorce;- Agreement

julian@pc-cb8.co.uk — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

I just read my blog and realised that I hadn't updated it for a while and had left it in rather unclear position.

I couldn't really undestand why I clung to hope one minute and then would swing to divorce very quickly afterwards. I though that I was indecisive, unable to rationally think it through.

Then I came across the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross model used in times of grief, despair or major life changes. There are five stages she argues;

The stages are:

Denial [...]

Introducing New Partners

pjismyboo@hotmail.com — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Can't remember where I got this information from now think it was from another website but having chatted with members in the forum this afternoon thought it might be useful to post here. Obviously it is written for the scenario of men introducing their children to new partners but is equally appropriate for women introduing their children to new partners too.

One of the most stressful things you can do as a separated father is to introduce your children to your new pa [...]

The heart ache comes back

greaves_rob@yahoo.com — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Seem to spending ages getting all the evidence together for Final Hearing....... All the memories are coming back, the pain, the hurt, my X's years of adultery...................... I just wonder why she continues to accuse me of so many things, which are completly untrue. Now getting text messages which are hurtfull............. She knows she has caused me to have years of depression and I am still being treated............ I just dont know what to do next.

The Final hearing is ce [...]

Humbled

goodayatheoffice@yahoo.co.uk — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Hi it’s been a while since my last Blog I did start on several occasions but always something I needed to deal with came up .

On the odd few minutes I have spent here reading other peoples stories I’ve come to realise just how bad relationships can be and more so how cruel uncaring and downright nasty people can be in a relationship. I suppose to some extent I’m a little naive I read the stories in the news but somehow it just doesn& [...]

What A Week!!!!!

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

It's been a busy week in the SL Household...... I was busy having valuations done on the house, as we have to agree a valuation by 4pm tomorrow, otherwise the court will appoint a valuer... which we will have to accept and pay for.....

I had a call from my sol early in the week.... she'd had a call from his sol, he wants a valuation done by a particular agent, and would I agree for that to be done?........I said "yes - no problem".....she said she'd let his sol kno [...]