Blog Entries - September 2007

life goes on...unfairly

cybermum@hotmail.com — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

To cut a long story short, was divorced 5 years ago, ex found someone else got her pregnant , moved her in house (as i wouldnt move out). eventually moved out but ex blackmailed 6 children to live with him through cafcass, so couldnt claim half of house. did a diy divorce so no ancillary relief either as didnt know what i was signing. now am struggling finances as not allowed to claim tax credit for children for time that they stay with me each week and have been to [...]

25 years? Get less for murder

mikehart@boltblue.com — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Having a funny old day today. Thoughts all over the place, head in bits. Nothing new there then! :lol: Our hotel hosted a silver wedding at the weekend. Have known the couple since I was at school, going on 30 years. Seeing them so happy and fulfilled, with all their children, friends and family around them upset me. That just isn't going to be for me. So it's a feeling sorry for myself day. Get it out of my system and write it all down. Feel better for having done something posi [...]

I care too much

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:00:00 +0100

No luck on the sleep front over the weekend. To be honest, my minds a bit blurred at the moment so some of this may be a bit jumbled.

Friday night X2B was out with her boyfriend (J). I went to bed as per usual but couldn't sleep. Must have nodded off and then woke at 3:00 with her not home. This is unusual as she normally comes in before 2 when the bars shut. So, as I worry about her, I agonised over texting her for half an hour then did so. She replied that she was having a [...]

I want my life back!!!!!

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I know it isn't going to happen......... but what I wouldn't give to have everything back when it was 'okay' (although it obviously wasn't)

I long for life to be 'normal'..... to go through each day with everything being 'just so'...... instead of having every waking moment filled with 'what happened'.....'where did it go wrong'.....' what did I do wrong'.........'why did he do this'.........'how could he treat me [...]

Feeling down today

droopydraws_uk@hotmail.com — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Thought things would of got easier by now but they are still the same.Been without him now for 25 months divorced decree absolute since oct 06.I proberbly have guilt about my children , My children have been through so much last few years with their father's violent behaviour towards me.I had no choice but to leave all my friends and family behind and move 300 miles away early last yr as he was still abusive towards me after i asked him to leave . it was awful being in a womans refuge and a [...]

busy but calm

rh.m@virgin.net — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

That's how I'd describe this week.It was payday-thank god-so that lets me breathe a sigh of relief.Then I had a two day PG sandwich course start with a residential and 2 days study--al courtesy of the authority.Lovely hotel ,food etc for free.It felt like a holiday.I also met a lot of great new people that,no doubt,I will keep in touch with throughout the 2 years.

Another night out tonight at colleagues retiral 'do'.Great!! And a 'pudding and wine party' tomorrow [...]

Hurrah for the Personal Trainer!!!

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

This evening's feeling = Empty

So, X2B's out with her boyfriend tonight, she was obviously very nervous about telling me. I can always tell, she rambles on and on about stuff. Silly really, I've told her many times that I don't mind when / how often she sees him as long as they don't have sex until we actually separate. I'm sure they are not doing so, at least for the moment.

We're talking about finances tomorrow whilst the small person is at a frie [...]

Good and bad, up and down

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Today's feeling = So-so

Had discussions with the X2B yesterday about the financial side which were a bit strained. also sorted separate bank and mobile phone accounts. Still a bit surreal to me if I'm honest.

Then in the evening I had a bad time. I think the poor financial situation that we will both be in finally became real and I had a mild panic attack. I say mild because I've not had one before so don't really know what they are supposed to feel like. Tha [...]

Arrangements for the weekend

sallybargeton@btinternet.com — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

X2B called earlier this week to ask the girls if they would like to spend this Saturday with him and have a sleep over too.

Youngest jumped at the chance..eldest got into a right state..

So in the end we all sat an argued and argued and argued.

But in the end it was agreed they would go.

Next day a birthday invite arrives for the youngest..for the same Saturday.

Eldest comes home from school with an invite to go shopping with her mate that same Saturday too.

[...]

SLEEP

CLARE.MAYES@HOTMAIL.CO.UK — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Here we go again insomnia. Really is bad at moment any ideas appreciated. Alcohol tends to ware off and I wake up with a swadust mouth.

GP wont give me ant sleeping tabs pitty tamazipam works a treat thuogh I admit you feel crap the next day but 15 hours sleep is great.

No one on site really 3=6pm everyone in bed.No chat room. Maybe I xan find an insomnia chatroom. Facebook has a club.ROFL.

Anyway 5am might try to go back for toss and t [...]

I had a bad dream

sallybargeton@btinternet.com — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Went to bed last night...and when I closed my eyes my heart juddered and I realised I had had a nightmare...I opened my eyes in blissful relief only to realise that I was not dreaming.....................

Oh my God help me.

Still a bit confused

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Today's feeling = A bit confused

Well, learnt a few things over the last few days.

1) X2B does not want a divorce!

What?!?! Pardon?!?! Well, actually, she does not want a divorce yet. "I've got no intention of getting married in the near future so there is no need for a divorce".

OK. Well, yes, I guess I might of jumped the gun a bit because we had not discussed it. I had just assumed that she would want a divorce. Not too sure how I feel ab [...]

Thursday 27th September - just call me Shirley

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Now I am just getting silly – thinking Oh my God what will happen when the money runs out, so I rushed out of the house to stock up on essentials.

So now I have enough hair dye and coffee to last the year, should I be getting anything else in? I have a bottle of bubbly for my celebration of something, resolution I think. Maybe I should go blonde next time?

Did a bunk this weekend – got into the car and drove t [...]

crap

amanda.shepherd2@homecall.co.uk — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

went to see sol today. she said that if the house is sold it would go in favour of wife because if the kids 18,16 went with her she would have to rent a bigger house and i would have to pay the extra as well as maint??, when i told her this she said if i moved out and payed the mortgage and endowments untill the youngest doesnt need the house anymore then she would agree to a 50,50 split, if i dont do this she will take me for all she can get, thats great considering i dont want this in the 1st [...]

D Day

rh.m@virgin.net — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

OK-I relpied to solicitors letter today.I have no objection to D providing access to children can be agreed.This is when the s**t hits the fan......Things could get nasty! I know we won't agree and this is one issue I won't budge on.

Another good day today

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Day life ended +6

Today's feeling = Still being positive

X2B is off to see a pychiatrist ths afternoon in Málaga, I hope that goes well for her. She's taken her bloke for comfort and not me. This was a strange feeling but with the experience of the last few days I have accepted that I am no longer going to be the one who is "there for her".

C'est la vie.

I'm off to pick up our daughter at wife's best friend' house in a minute [...]

fdh

CLARE.MAYES@HOTMAIL.CO.UK — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

well hearing done he decides to take offer from 12 months ago only he dragged it on another 8 months.

He tried to agree so not to pay for court mmmmmm to late notice though.

All started you are sol x and y for a & b ect. Yes Mam and all that which I thought was a little over the top for a divorce hearing.

Anyway as usual I have to do all the running to sort everything he wants out.

After the abuse texts calling me fat and other tacky sticks and stones.

Proud [...]

Partly my fault

rew.mason@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Today's feeling = Being positive

I realised yesterday that as a husband, I failed my wife.

Even in the midst of all the anger, despair and just plain emptiness of feeling at the moment I have looked back on the past few months leading up to her telling me it's over and realised that it is partly my fault.

I took her for granted. I saw her changing, improving her life, getting fit (and, sod's law working overtime here, she does now look stunningly attractive!!! [...]

help

amanda.shepherd2@homecall.co.uk — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

wife suddenly decided after a week away with her family she liked her freedom and wanted out of our marriage. result,totally gutted. no 3rd party involved. married 22 years 60k mortgage 200k equity. 2 kids, one aged 18 working. one aged 16 looking for work. doesn,t want relate or mediation, just me to move out and pay most of the bills. i have never seen such a change in anybody, cold, doesn,t want to talk wants as little to do with me as possible. when i walk in,she walks out.going to see a sol [...]

Just keep going...

r.blundell@ntlworld.com — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I've never done this before. I've joined a forum, found and uploaded a picture and now I'm doing this! I've done so many things since my life was turned upside down last July, most of which I'd rather not have, like given a solicitor £3000 in exchange for a decree nisi and a tree's worth of pointless letters, like cuddling my kids and telling them it's alright and we're fine when I'm not coming close to fine.

One thing that strikes me is that t [...]