Blog Entries - November 2007

another day in single land..

pinkymalmalred@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

well after a positive start to the week, things have been tricky but I am trying not to let it get me down too much.

Yesturday I went to my Jobcentre interview, 'New Deal for Lone Parents', after waiting an hour finally got seen, and when I told them of my health problems the fact I am on severe disability benefit, son has special needs etc they said they didn't expect me to look for work, and that I would be transferred to the 'sick-long term' lot, and would just g [...]

A Glimer of Hope !

kimmii@btinternet.com — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Had a phone call yesterday from my ex boss, who was ringing to tell me I am being head hunted for a job that may be coming up in the not too distant future and would I be interested??

I picked myself up off the floor I replied "Yes".

After all the doom and gloom of the past week or so the glimer of hope is on the horizion maybe x

When you feel you are at rock bottom it is amazing how quickly some good vibes can spring you out of the doom and dispair you felt prior [...]

Changes

skyelord_4153@yahoo.com — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 01:00:00 +0100

Things have changed forever more.
Time has stood still.
No longer am I the person I used to be
memories will remain close in my heart,

but the Innocence is gone forever.
Through time, so much knowledge has been gained.
And yet so many questions still remain.

Will the answers ever unfold
Attitude and thoughts are now conceived so differently.
Where are my real friends, and who are my enemies
Who and what are my real priorities
Will I sti [...]

Help, Really need advise

helen.griffiths@skanskausa.com — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

My Husband and I are going thorough a separation and very beginnings of a divorce.

Please can you advise me on the following information that he is telling me, and your thoughts and opinions are very much appreciated....

My Ex had a house that was sold to him at a cheap price by his parents, his parents owned the property, and sold the property to Graham and his brother for £50,000, (£25,000 Each... sorry to state the obvious, approx 15 yrs [...]

Confused and desperate to be in control!

ros.rwa@btinternet.com — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

So here am I a 6 months after he left. I still hurt but I don't think of him every day - I do find myself thinking of her though - and the anger I feel otwads her scares me. What did she think she was doing taking a friends husband! I don't even want him back though - so why these feelings and thoughts. I wonder if it is because I know she is pulling the strings!

He is back play ing games again - from last weeks - contact me and I'll do you for harrassment to this weeks text [...]

another week, a positive feeling.

pinkymalmalred@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

well it is the start of another week, yesturday was 2 months since we split. Time is a great healer.I saw him yesturday and thought I really don't want to spend my life with you, I have had a lucky escape.He looks like a medalian man or Jimmy saville.. so pathetic.

I have found someone to take me to my check up in a few weeks at papworth hospital.My big sis, who I am grateful to.I didn't want to go on my own.

Spent today at the gym, paid for by him..enjoyed every minute be [...]

Life After Divorce .... Oh yes there is!!

paulineann.yates@tiscali.co.uk — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Hmmm :)

Back from London with a smile on my face. As Nix put it earlier in the chat room, there is life after divorce (and love and romance).

Plans are full steam ahead for Christmas ... and events in the New Year. A weekend in London, a show and just time for us. Despite being showered with love, attention and gifts the most romantic part was being informed that all he wants for Christmas is us.

The hardest part (for me) is the unlearning of the hard lessons of the past an [...]

Down but not (quite) out!!

rh.m@virgin.net — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Apologies for stealing your username mate but right now that't the best phrase I can use to express my emotions.

Unlike so many people here my low mood is not due to x2b or divorce.In fact I couldn't care less-I just wish he'd get the hell on with it.

He broke my heart 18 months age and it's healing.I wouldn't have him back now if he won the lottery....or would I?????

My spirits are down because of

a) My 15yo teeny who has driven me to the edge [...]

A second bloom

skyelord_4153@yahoo.com — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 01:00:00 +0100

I think I'm enjoying the second bloom that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations, and suddenly find... at the age of fiftyand a bit heheheh, say... that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about. It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising within. And the perhaps the best thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been. So, where the hell is Peter [...]

the story so far...

gilly3166@hotmail.co.uk — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Unfortunately been quite a while since I visited here. Due in no small part to BT being completely incompetent in installing a line in my "new" home - their systems could not find the address on 3 separate occasions and cancelled the order...the building is only 150 years old...so hardly a new build!

So - whats happened - well moved out at the end of August and then just a question of witing for pension forecasts to arrive before we were robbed at mediation again. STBX clearl [...]

Suicide

skyelord_4153@yahoo.com — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

OK reading one persons mentioning on suicide, I can tell anyone who has that frame of mind it isn't worth it. Please believe me it ISNT, from a very, very, personal part of my life it isn't worth it. Below I have put in an extract from my life story that Im writing when Ill finish, if Ill finish, I have no idea. The brief of the story is, my father was murdered while I was the young age of ten and I was standing beside him when he was killed. I had gone through so many things in life [...]

Angry Flowers ?

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Okay.... it's a stupid title but there's two blogs in one here!!! lol

Flowers.... "you don't buy me flowers anymore"

Very apt.... as my STBX always bought me flowers....... birthday's... christmas'es.... anniversaries....

The reason being..... he knows/knew how much I love fresh flowers in my home.... and he knew how much I appreciated the thought and effort behind him sending me flowers....

No matter where he was in the co [...]

It hurts so much !!

kimmii@btinternet.com — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Ok I knew the divorce regime would not be easy,but I failed to understand how much it would hurt!!.......................... No one tells you that do they??

Today another flaming letter from my solicitor informing me x is amending the arrangements for our children we had previously agreed ourselves.

Now he is stating he is the perfect father, of course he is in his eyes. He is not a bad father don't get me wrong but could do better. However just starting to do bet [...]

Who has been through trial separation?

julian@pc-cb8.co.uk — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

OK this is a Divorce support website and so if you have been through a trial separation it is likely that you are now heading towards a divorce.

I fully understand that. But I would like to know how people went into a separation, how much planning went into it, how did you manage it with children involved, what you felt of the experience, pitfalls and benefits.

Your help would be appreciated. Not quite at that stage but it is something we are discussing [...]

he used to bring me flowers?

ann-marie@easy.com — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

he used to bring me flowers,silly title pwrhaps?but the man who used to do that has well gone,instead now imliving with a freeloading head player,if you have read any of my other blogs you will have an idea.

how come i cant get him out the house!hes threatening,been arrested twice.dont pay his share of bills,and the mind games ,i yhink he is wanting me to react and try hurt him,im not stupid hes a big guy and not shy at throwing weight around.he goads me on how good sex was with this wo [...]

Can pencils be used violently?

julian@pc-cb8.co.uk — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 02:29:15 +0100

Well we had another chat on Monday about things. I said that I was not happy to enter couple counselling with sole aim of 'agreeing separation'. It may well be the outcome that we both agree on but that should not be the only aim. I see it involving our current feelings towards each other and their causes.

My wife said that she couldn't discuss things with me because of my anger. Well I have looked into this a lot and anger is quite normal when you feel you are moving ap [...]

No conscience...

cmason.home@yahoo.com — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Sometimes the complete lack of respect for another person's feelings astounds me. I can never imagine intentionally making an effort to hurt someone else with no remorse or conscience.

This evening, I was having a conversation with my mother in-law about the upcoming American holiday to give thanks for the land our ancestors stole from the Native Americans. We eat turkey and watch football to show our gratitude. While on the phone, my x2b calls my cell twice, lea [...]

Background

ros.rwa@btinternet.com — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Hi, So here I am 6 months after my ex told me he was having an affair with one of my closest friends and that he was leaving me and the children for her.

Cold hard and to the point. Supposedly they had only consumated it 6 weeks before he leaves.

He walks out on 18 years of marriage and 24 years of a relationship. He leaves 2 children (and his dog!) with no guilt and the only comment being - there was a problem that needed solving so I have solved it!

So where has that left [...]

Alone

skyelord_4153@yahoo.com — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 01:00:00 +0100

After reading th epost about being alone I thought Id post this. This is something I wrote a while back in the darker days to my web site

Alone

Living alone is the same for all

An absolute with no adornment.

Listening to the crescendo of silence

We flee to work or play

Circuit the routine of the day.

Deadly dull

When night come [...]

Two's company ... 3's a party

paulineann.yates@tiscali.co.uk — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Yay! STBx showed her self online ... hurrah :-)!!

Now ... I wonder how that stands with the harassment order?!

Now we are all lined up for our weekend away. A nice break in London and to take in a show.

I will admit that this week while shopping I found myself saying "we best start booking somewhere for Christmas dinner" to be met with "but you agreed, we're going to my parents, my mum's already ordered the poultry .."

I hadn't forgott [...]