Blog Entries - June 2007

Pensions

liago@tiscali.co.uk — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 13:17:21 +0100

Still headed for FH . Have completed and sworn my Form E to exchange with X as direct by the judge before 29/6/07. True to form have not had sight of stbx....................... There is an offer in the pipeline, I could accept it and finally put an end to this mess now instead of dragging it out. However, I have just been informed that his original CEV was (as I suspected) incorrect and he has finally produced another one which inflates the las [...]

Another week

jane-2006@hotmail.co.uk — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 07:41:20 +0100

Well another week has gone by, another overnight with youngest, another lovely night with youngest. I hope it will continue but he seems so content in my house and sleeps soundly despite Ex stating in e-mail that youngest still very unsettled at night. I hope he continues being so contented with me.

Against that eldest is really "off" with me. The invitation is there for him to stay with me too but so far he says no. I hope its his age [...]

Feeling pretty depressed :-(

richmondlane@hotmail.com — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 06:40:54 +0100

Just got paid 2 days ago - and already overdrawn. Paying 60% of my salary in interim SM each month is killing me. I am getting pretty miserable of living close to the bread line while she still refuses to work.

How can the courts justify giving her 100% of the realisable assets (FMH) and 30% of my pension. Leaving me with just 70% of a pension i cannot touch for 25 years plus over 40k in debts.

Also i continue to be denied any access at all to my son. Not contact, no phone calls, [...]

Mediation

gilly3166@hotmail.co.uk — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Interesting. A rather painful experience - but not for reasons I was expecting. Wife went 30 minutes before I did - a bit of form filling re legal aid - NOT ELIGIBLE - and then a discussion with Counsellor as to what she wants etc. Then change round and I go in - form filling for legal aid - NOT ELIGIBLE - surprise surprise.

Then it was the joint discussion with us both present. It was very amicable - forms re finances were explained - and possibility that things could be resolved ami [...]

Money

kbell@dmu.ac.uk — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 10:11:59 +0100

I hate worrying about money. The day to day caution is fine but the bigger worries get to me. I want a clean break - what's the point in hanging around? - but waiting for financial disclosure and negotiation niggles at the back of my mind now and occasionally causes nightmares.

I daren't look too far into the future. I'm fine until the teenagers grow up - because I have to be. Nobody is going to make them homeless. After that, who knows?& [...]

Change of tactics?

gilly3166@hotmail.co.uk — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 01:55:14 +0100

Wife and I had a chat fter her first visit to her solicitors yesterday. All very open and frank. It appears she struggled to explain why she wants a divorce - no cruelty, no unreasonable behaviour, no adultery etc etc. She just knows she doesn't want to be married anymore and thats it. Think solicitor might be ringing me for a date!

Anyhow, missus then stated that solicitor suggested she just got nit picky and basically fabricated lots of little niggles to enable divorce to b [...]

Mediation..

gilly3166@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 08:35:58 +0100

First session at Mediation re finances tomorrow - not looking forward to it. She says she just wants a fair outcome - but fairer for her as I won't need as big a house as her as she will have the kids etc and expects a bigger percentage in return for leaving my pension alone. My pension actually brings our incomes to parity anyway - as she is earning more than I am anyway.

Solictor felt that a 60/40 split would be fai to all sides - won't be a bad outcome but not holding my bre [...]

Gilly's world

gilly3166@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 00:55:32 +0100

First appointment with a solicitor yesterday - got a few facts sorted out but it's early days yet. Had house valued as it is the only real joint asset. Nice to know how much we will have to spend on our future hovel's. "I'll have to move out too !" she says - well, yes - it is your decision that our marriage is over - is it too much to ask that you live as I will be doing - in a much smaller house in a crappier neighbourhood?

Married 22 years - 2 b [...]

26th June

dragonheart196@hotmail.com — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Haven't blogged for a while as didn't feel i had much to write to be honest. Nothing has changed in my life, same old routines. My hubby was away with his Scouts for the weekend (again) and came home on Sunday night around 9.45pm. Within in half an hour he'd ask if i would mind if he popped to the pub for a drink. I said no, whatever. I didn't even get an invite, nice eh! Went to my bed instead with a good book. Good books are becoming a big part of my life at the moment lol. [...]

Keep on keeping on

ladymalfoy73@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 07:12:50 +0100

so I see the man of my dreams and it's like a bolt from the blue,to the extent that I cant be in the same room as him because the feeling is so intense.

After a eighteen months I finally get the chance to meet him outside of work.

Yes,I knew at the time his wife had left him eighteen months before our first date but I really wanted a shot at it. At 32 years old to be floored by only a glimpse of this man I needed to know who he was to make me feel this way.

what I have l [...]

Frustration

liago@tiscali.co.uk — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 03:14:21 +0100

Today is one of complete frustration. I have been waiting for a first appointment for ancilliary relief as my stbx has decided he wants to leave the mess behind and 'get away from it all' and by volunteerng to go overseas for a year....As financial negotiations have not getting anywhere for the last 6 months I decided to go down the ancilliary relief path .

No problem.......Both parties consented, the court agreed an early first hearing due to his immin [...]

A happy morning

jane-2006@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:57:25 +0100

Yes I know I had a rant yesterday and I was worried about youngest staying with me last night BUT all went well.

We had a lovely afternon and evening, visited his granny, watched DVD and played games. He wants to see me for an extra night next week because Ex is taking the kids away and youngest says it would be too long until he would see me again. No prompting from me, honestly.

He didnt mention his dad and didnt ask to ring him which suprised me.

He [...]

Just need to shout!

jane-2006@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 05:00:23 +0100

I still havent got round to writing more of my blog but I will do.

Today I need to shout at Ex but I know it would make things much worse so I'm shouting here.

Tonight for the first time in a year my youngest will stay with me and I will leave him to school in the morning. It should be a happy event. Yes I'm happy but also very nervous. How sad is that to be nervous of my own son. What if he doesnt want to stay, doesnt like his bed, can [...]

Fathers' Day

kbell@dmu.ac.uk — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 10:42:21 +0100

Not an easy day for many of us on this site. It can be pretty hard for kids too.

So best wishes to everyone else who's finding it tricky. And, for all of us who are parents, I'm sending the best wish of all: that our children come out of this doing the best they can, as caring people in good relationships, doing good in the world.

One of my kids saw my soon-to-be-ex today and the other made contact with him. They both got him presents.& [...]

15th June

dragonheart196@hotmail.com — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Decided it was about time i had a night out. When i got back from work i went up to my room and watched some telly. Hubby came home in a rush wondering why i was watching telly in the bedroom and what was wrong with the one downstairs !!! Good start to the evening. I asked if he mind that i go out (not that i need permission, but its always nice to ask) and got 20 questions. Who with, when, why where etc. He rushed about getting ready to go to scouts, kissed me goodbye and said 'see you some [...]

honeysuckle

kbell@dmu.ac.uk — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Yesterday, at the end of a dull evening, I put out the recyling bin. It wasn't quite full. I wheeled it across the small patch of grass, through the gate and onto the pavement.

As I crossed the grass a wonderful scent hit me. It was still there as I reached the pavement and richer still as I returned across the grass.

In the dark, I couldn't think what it was. Then I saw the honeysuckle - almost white in the moonlight.

That honeysuckle is in my garden but its s [...]

13th (lucky for some)

dragonheart196@hotmail.com — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 00:00:00 +0100

yesterday was my step daughter's 20th birthday. You would think her dad would have been at home for that, but no, Scouts came first again. No sooner was i in the door at 7.30, then he was out again saying he had stuff to do for scouts and bits and pieces to deliver to scouts groups from the weekend. That could have waited. I rang a few times from 10pm onwards and eventually got a call back about 11. Funny how he managed to talk to someone else 5 times (he told me) but couldnt ring me back. S [...]

Awful mother

dawn.sellick@ntlworld.com — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I hated myself today. I asked my daughter what had happened about the potential holiday her boyfriend's parents had suggested, in Italy. She said they're going for a week, parents are paying for the accommodation, daughter and boyfriend will have to pay transport. As they're students, funds are limited, so this means they can't come with me on holiday to Cornwall in September, as we'd planned, but not booked.

Despite knowing perfectly well that she'd be daft t [...]

Another Week

dragonheart196@hotmail.com — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well it's now Tues. Didn't see my hubby until late on Sun nite and last nite he was working late and i saw him briefly for about 5 mins before i went to my bed. Is it worth it i ask myself. Its like were living sepate lives. Mentioned i wanted to go to Royal Highland show in edinburgh next weekend and he said he would like to go to, but has Scout competiton again that weekend, so if we want to go together will have to take a day off work and go on the Thurs instead. Think the only reason [...]

Where do I start?

jane-2006@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 00:00:00 +0100

A year into my separation/divorce whatever you want to call it. Do I or will I ever get to the end of the road I have chosen?

Will I start with my marriage, almost 19 years? Although I dont count the last 2 because by that time I just didnt want to be there.

Will I start with the night I told him I was going?

Its hard to know how best to explain how I felt/feel. I want to describe my emotions clearly but somehow dont know if it will make sense to anyone but me.

I t [...]