Blog Entries - July 2007

Tuesday 31st July - a sunny day always makes you feel better

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 15:48:59 +0100

Slept OK last night.

Managed to stay out practically all day today til 10pm and what a lovely day it was – no more rain, sun all the way. I felt very positve about my future, played tennis – yes again, I know, I know but I am going to make the most of it, had another long chat with a friend, honestly I don’t know how anyone could cope without friends.

One thing I was thinking about today, when I was con [...]

Monday 30th July - another day

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 16:19:21 +0100

This blog thing is absolutely great therepy I am not really a writing person – usually answer emails with as few words as possible. It matters not if people read it – something about getting things down in a coherent form which seems to clear the mind.

Woke up with the brillaint idea that why not let him keep the house – I have the savings and travel. I wouldn’t have to worry about bills etc. Had a few sec [...]

Sunday 29th July - some soul searching

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 10:40:31 +0100

Sunday 29th July

Husband out of the house at 8am – back at 1pm – much as expected.

He came home in a great mood, can’t imangine why. I don’t get how he can face me!

At which point I left the house to go car booting, but again found myself unable to return to the house so went and had a coffee for an hour or so.

Did a l [...]

Saturday 28th July - a calm day

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 01:23:22 +0100

Slept great last night – all the way through til morning.

Hubby and son away for a couple of nights, so I have the house to myself more or less, and time alone to think without just trying to think of ways of avoiding being in the same room as him. This is how it has been for the past couple of weeks.

The finance stuff still has me stumped – I really don’t want to have to give up the house, the kids gre [...]

Emotions

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 02:35:34 +0100

Well - my first ever blog and it has to be about separation.

What can I say after 28 years of marriage plus 3 years of living togther, its all going tits up!

It all started two and a half weeks ago, well the crisis did obviously loads going on before that, that I know now.

Monday 9th July.

I find a receipt for hotel accomodation (April2007) - one double room booked in the name of my husband and his training partner(woman) - both Marathon runners and friends f [...]

Kids back again!!!

debbiespc.home@virgin.net — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 10:48:29 +0100

The kids are back today and it was like having a part of me returned! They seem to have managed ok but, as expected , despite his promises, he didn't spend any alone time with them. My son says they kissed so much he actually asked them not to in front of the kids. My ex told him to forget it! He amazes me with his selfishness. My doctor has said it is a part of the drinking heavily but it still amazes me. If i could walk away with no more contact it would be wonderful but i know that i need [...]

Is this the end or the beginning?

mikehart@boltblue.com — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:26:05 +0100

Here I am, 45 years old, three fabulous kids, 22 years with my wife, married for 15, contemplating the final exit. Not through my choice.....Appearently I'm no longer sexually attractive, she doesn't love me and she doesn't want me around. It was my wife's 40th birthday in January. We co-own and operate a hotel business, and the previous year has been a very difficult one, both financially and emotionally. The business had been performing poorly and I took a [...]

Moving out....

gilly3166@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 03:54:38 +0100

Well, the pension forecast have started to trickle back now. Why is it the charges for these are so disparate? £80+vat for my current one, yet wife qouted £300 pound if she wants it in less than 3 months...extortionate.

Thinks are ticking over at home - but it is a bit awkward now as we are both doing our own thing and privacy is a bit of an issue. Hopefully should be moving out shortly - once flat becomes available - then it will truly start to sink in I suppose.

Fel [...]

The final closure

bsk_888@hotmail.com — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 16:18:23 +0100

Five years had been a long strugle and still stressed about it all. The soon to be ex had decided to the sign the consent order. I now look forward to drop the albatrouss (ex) and set about to rebuilt my happy future. However, its not quiet over yet until I see the Decree Absolute.

Feeling a bit better thanks to another blogger!

debbiespc.home@virgin.net — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 06:25:06 +0100

When i wrote my entry a few days ago i then chatted to a great person who confirmed that what i was expecting from my husband was completely reasonable. Thanks so much downbutnotout!!!

I am on my own now as my ex has taken the kids to Wales on holiday. I originally suggested it to him as a way for them to spend time together but all he did was ask the girlfriend and her kids too!! My situation is very difficult as he lives around the corner and has taken up with the mother [...]

Awake

kbell@dmu.ac.uk — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 19:17:22 +0100

It's 3.15 in the morning. I ought to have gone to bed before midnight. There was too much to do. Now, if I go to sleep, I might miss the alarm. And I absolutely have to get up in the morning. Insomnia would be better. Sleep would be better still.

My eyes feel as though they're coated in sawdust. My skin prickles. Wine would be good but it might send me to sleep. Coffee could send me spiralling out of control.

I wonder if there are ways to go to sleep and ensure I w [...]

Illess and divorce

debbiespc.home@virgin.net — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 09:04:59 +0100

I am so frustrated with my lawyer - she suggests things and then
takes weeks to do anything about it! She also seems to be unused to dealing with the situation of divorce when a partner has a serious illness. The latest is whether to get a doctor's report - she suggested it
and then decides we should wait until he has made an offer! I suffer from fibromyalgia
which is like ME but worse and am struggling to keep going with the kids an work and all
he ca [...]

He registered with a dating agency after just 5 weeks!

lizabibby640@aol.com — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 04:16:00 +0100

As if the pain and torture of what he has put me through isn't enough, my dear husband has now registered (some 3 weeks ago) on a dating agency. changed his password so i can't see what hes up to and then lies about it all!

I know i'm leaving in a month to stat a new life and maybe i'm being selfish here but why couldn't he have at least waited til i'd gone. I don't want him conducting his new love life in my home while he is here at the weekends. doesn't [...]

Just tired

kbell@dmu.ac.uk — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 16:18:35 +0100

I'd like more sleep. I don't have time for more sleep. It's past midnight and I'm still up, trying to focus on work.

Some days are like that.

It's remarkable how unstructured my life is. Of course, there are things I have to remember (school, office appointments, doctor, etc.) but some of the everyday structures seem to have been removed. For a lot of the time I can work from home, so home becomes a messy, unsuitable workplace.

Why cant I feel positive

jane-2006@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:14:57 +0100

I still dont know yet whether I'm "allowed" to pick up or collect kids from grandparents/childminders. Maybe thats adding to my mood which is not good.

Youngest and I have had a good couple of days and he is supposed to be with me until tomorrow evening. But eldest told him what he was doing tomorrow and now youngest wants to go too. The plan means they will end up at grandparents. Youngest really wants to go. What could I say, I do [...]

Hacked off

liago@tiscali.co.uk — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:21:15 +0100

Today I am really hacked off.

As you know, X offered and I have accepted a high percentage of equity and small percentage of his pension which equates to less that 50% of all marital assets.

The consent order has'nt appeared, instead I receive a request from his solicitors stating that it is going difficult for X to return to UK in oct for FH, so will I agree to delaying it until late December.......WHAT!!

No 1. I thought we agreed a settlement?, so t [...]

update

jaynekeeley@hotmail.com — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 01:44:33 +0100

well, it's been an interesting weekend.I decided saturday that sulking was for children,and I should set a better example to daughter.I took TWO cups of coffee up.No,I'm not giving in,it's self-preservation.H stunned,i think.Still no conversation,just basic communication but it's a step up.Friend visited me on saturday.Tried to explain their presence.Should have just said it was my support network. Daughter definitely thawing,that's nicer for me.One very disintegrated cassero [...]

Life does get better - but I'm cross with politicians

kbell@dmu.ac.uk — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 01:31:11 +0100

Perhaps it's just that we didn't get flooded and the rain has stopped. Perhaps it's because I haven't been caught up with divorce matters for a while. Anyway, the sun is shining and at last I seem to be getting a grip on the overload of tasks at work.

Home is another matter - housework is needed and the children are, as usual, teenagers. Not bad teenagers - but they'v the usual teenage concerns, like avoiding spots and homework.

The soon-to-be [...]

Feeling low & frightened

jane-2006@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:05:46 +0100

Feeling lost but probably shouldnt be.

Today had order agreed that youngest would spend 2 nights per week with me plus one evening for both kids. Solicitors agreed the whole thing very quickly. I'm a bit confused as she said this is the final order but if things dont work out I can go back again if i want.

Ex phoned tonight to say that his parents and childminder have refused to let me collect the boys from their houses. I work full time but over the pas [...]

The beginning

jaynekeeley@hotmail.com — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 13:00:42 +0100

So what is a blog? I've never done one. This will be a diary,and an outpouring, starting with my week.

Sunday:H picked an argument.Sorry,but you boys have a great way of turning something around totally to deflect from the real issue. I feel that I am justified in being ticked off,but then so does he. He went to bed at 8pm,sulking.I followed,and slept.

Monday:H left for work,didn't speak.All day.Ho Hum,so that's how it's going to be.Tuesday: catalyst day.Had almigh [...]