Blog Entries - December 2007

Happy New Year....hopefully!

mikehart@boltblue.com — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I was feeling quite pleased with myself that I had got through Christmas feeling relatively calm and unscathed. It went well - STBX had kids on Christmas Day and delievered them to me on Boxing Day. I spent Christmas day alone, wrapping my kids presents and generally just chilling out. Had a great day with them on Boxing Day, doing the presents and Christmas Dinner and all the usual stuff. Really enjoyed my time with them - more so than for some time, as it was just me and them - no famil [...]

Trying to make s fresh start

sue.ramsey1@btopenworld.com — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Had a good Christmas, but can't help feeling that there's someone missing. Kids are okay. They got the presents they wanted for Christmas - all paid for by me. Ex said he'd give them money so they could buy themselves something, but he turned up to visit on Christmas Day with nothing. And anyway, it should be me who's getting the money, as I bought their presents, and he doesn't pay anything towards their upkeep. I'll have to go to the CSA in the new year and try [...]

Can't be bothered anymore

droopydraws_uk@hotmail.com — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Just as i thought , exactly 1 month after the ex had started to pay child support again , he has now stopped last payment 15th Dec what's the CSA going to do this time same as all the other times bugger all, me i can't be bothered with it anymore thank god that months worth of child support was not taken into account regarding my housing benefit other wise i would really be up the greek without a paddle right now.Was wondering if stupid thought because he bought the children gift voucher [...]

Goodbye To The Worst Year Of My Life

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Goodbye 2007... boy, will I be glad to see the back of this year!!!!!

Never, in my wildest imagination did I think that this year would bring me such heartache... sorrow.... sadness.... confusion.... anger....

Now...I don't consider myself the brightest person in the world.... nor, do I consider myself the most stupid.... I'm an average, reasonably intelligent, reasonably articulate sort of person....

I thought I was happily married to a man I dearly lov [...]

Children just don't need it!

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Against my better judgement, I let my 1 yo go with her 2 brothers and 1 of her sisters for contact with their father today. She cried as she was put in his car, not as much as sometimes when she goes, but none the less she cried.

X2b rang me at home at lunch time to ask whether it was normal for my 3 yo and 5 yo to be going to the toilet every 5 minutes. The conversation swiftly moved on to the fact that the children are seeing someone about what is going on in their lives at the moment [...]

Finally, is something going my way; well I suppose it depends how you look at it!

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Got the post today, an event which I have now become to dread. The first letter was from the Legal Commission with a new funding certificate which now includes assistance to file for a Non-Molestation Order. On the downside I should not have been rejected for funding the first time and my x2b shouldn't abuse me so that I feel the need to get a Non-Molestation Order but hey, that is life, and something I seem to be getting used to.

Just have to wait until the 2nd January, 2008 until [...]

How it all began

martboy1@btinternet.com — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I would describe myself as a confident happy person, loved being around people talking to them (hence my job as a receptionist) when I was 23 i met a guy couple of years younger than me we got it together bought a house and it all went badly wrong, he was very controlling treat me badly I was in financial difficulty and I alienated my family eventually i moved out and got my own flat.

I held down 2 jobs, one in an office and one in a wine shop both of which I loved, i was nearing 30yr [...]

what now

jacqui.phillip@yahoo.com — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

story so far, looking forward to christmas with husband returning from 6 months away with work. To inform me out of the blue wants a divorce sell the house. Then left for a 3 week holiday leaving me in a tail spin, sold the house in 2 weeks. panic, he comes home acting normal, said I could have the equity found me another house. Everything was good slept with me, said he still loved me etc. At the same time he had phone calls every night. then he booked anothe weeks away. Found out he has anoth [...]

Thought Xmas Day would be free from abuse - how wrong I was!

s73serendipitous@aol.co.uk — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I stupidly thought x2b would refrain from giving me any abuse today; it being xmas and all, but how wrong can you be?

I was 5 mins late dropping them at his house, after being 3 mins late he felt it necessary to leave messages both on home and mobile voice messages. He gave me a load of verbal both on dropping the kids off and collecting them.

I spent the next 2 hours walking along the beach; crying. Not being with my 5 beautiful children for any amount of time on Xmas Day is hea [...]

Happy Xmas, chump

braindearth@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I love Xmas, my son loves it. my wife clearly loves the fact that this year she can enjoy it with us then speed off to new boyfriend whenever she wants, safe in the knowledge that dull old husband will watch the child at all times.

finaly, after weeks of BS from her about couple counselling she gives in to my questions and admits she has met someone else. i feel played like a fish on the end of a line. she knows that i have been trying to get her to counselling for some tim [...]

Happy Christmas

dseward@hotmail.co.uk — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well it is now 2 months since my wife decided that she would rather be on her own and walked out the door.

Thanks to my work colleagues, friends, friendly women :) and people on this website, I have managed to get over the original feelings of shock and desperation, and now have quite a positive outlook on life moving forward. I can now safely say that I believe that she was perhaps the stronger person to say enough was enough.

I am pleased to say we seem to have come to an amic [...]

The new year and a new life

andrew.brown007@btinternet.com — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well I finally got to see my son and also managed to get him all day on Boxing day so that will now be my Christmas Day feel a lot happier in myself. things are moving nicely on the new relationship front also after the blind date of last week set up by my friends I have been asked to go to hers for the new year and although we have both agreed to take things very slowly things are starting to look positive. Must admit x2b looks like she has had her nose put out of joint as I no longer respond [...]

Christmas wishes to all.

sallybargeton@btinternet.com — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Thanks for the chat FBGS and I have 1GB RAM. will look at flash version another day.

So have packed the Car and we will be on our merry way to Wiltshire in the morning...

All the hard work is done, time to go and enjoy myself..and I will...cos I deserve it...so as soon as I get to my sisters I will accept alcohol and not tea.

Not been to a social gathering for months...and i just cannot wait for a christmas dinner that I have not had to cook!!!!!

I am however filled wi [...]

Don't You Just Hate Xmas!

julian@pc-cb8.co.uk — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

What an emotional holiday. All these expectations of joyous family time together. Love and harmony. In reality of course we all fail to meet the marketing and social targets.

We spend money on getting everything the kids want when the biggest item on virtually any kids list is a loving environment. But we can't buy that and we can't afford the emotional investment in most cases.

I am so looking forward to my kid's Xmas but dreading my own.

If you can indulge [...]

Another "first"

sue.ramsey1@btopenworld.com — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Just getting myself into the right frame of mind for my first Chrstmas without the ex. Lots of positives, like there being no drunk in the corner, no-one dissing my plans for festive entertainment for the kids, no-one dictating my mood. But I know I'll feel a bit alone and a bit weird, even though I've got my kids with me and my mum and dad are coming to visit. It'll just be different, and I'm determined to be positive about it.

Having said that, he came over today to [...]

Myself & lifes ups & downs

skyelord_4153@yahoo.com — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 01:00:00 +0100

Myself & Life's ups & downs

It's easy for me to say that all of the days in the 59 years of my life contributed significantly to who I am today. Mmmm, if only I could call for the excitement of each and every one of them in order to carry that same enthusiasm into to however many more days of the future!

What if the sands of time could have move me from one safe haven to another, how simple my life would be. Instead I have been cast violently out to sea in a turbulent s [...]

Finally start couple counselling.

julian@pc-cb8.co.uk — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well the long awaited couple counselling started this Wednesday. the counsellor seems to have lots of experience - trained by Relate and 15 years in counselling on her own. Easy to talk to and listens well.

There was a lot of apprehension on both sides I think. I have seen it as very important and my wife has finally bought in to the idea. She asked us how long we have been together, what we liked about each other in those early days, what each of us see our issues as and what we ea [...]

The Christmas wobble has already started

sallybargeton@btinternet.com — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Went out to do the final christmas pressie shop this morning. I was so elated that on the way back to the car I started to cry...because I was so thankful that I MANAGED IT AND I FINISHED IT and because I felt terribly guilty of my happiness.

I am so sorry for those of you who will not have your children with you for christmas, my girls are the reason for me to go on.

I question how my X2B is feeling himself..

Every christmas, I would do the present run and wrap while he wo [...]

Old wounds , Fresh pain

droopydraws_uk@hotmail.com — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well exactly 2 yrs and 4 months down the line since i have split from him , how am i doing ? not very good. little while ago i thought i was getting there slowly but surely but for some reason these last 2 weeks i have been engulfed by pain.My brain knows why i had to call it a day but my heart does'nt understand , i miss being part of that family unit i hate waking up every day as a lone parent, i hate my life being ground hog day.I'm upset he has sent people christmas cards but no card [...]

Friends

andrew.brown007@btinternet.com — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Well last night was the start of the future got dragged out by some friends who decided to set me up on a blind date to cheer me up. Young lady in question is in the same position I am going through that horrible word Divorce. surprising we had so much to talk about I wonder why. Must admit did have an enjoyable evening but felt like everyone was watching me and have expected x2b to turn up. I would have to thank my two friends for not taking no for an answer it was an enjoyable evening cant und [...]