Blog Entries - August 2007

Anticipating an Exploding Wife

sootyfoot2000@yahoo.co.uk — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 15:53:33 +0100

Right, so I've tracked down her solicitor! Don't know what the big secret was. The receptionist went and checked and it is definitely the one I guessed that's representing my wife. I left a letter with him. She'd phoned me again this morning; had I received an affidavit addressed to her, why would I? I thought unless of course she was lying about her residence. I got to thinking about how this might be to her advantage, but she's taking a risk with her post. After al [...]

Thursday 30th August - hug

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 13:51:42 +0100

Took my son out today for a coffee and tried to imagine me telling him that we are separating, not that I was going to do that just yet, but I was testing it out in my head. And there I was once more plumetting down thet rollercoaster again. That is just going to be so hard to do.

I think I may need a hug.

Wedsnesday 29th August - Alton Towers?

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 16:18:44 +0100

Cant quite believe that here we are coming to the end of the summer – kids go back to school (not mine), evening drawing in fast, winter draws on as my Grandmother used to say!

These last couple of months have crawled by, it seemed at the time, but now I look back and think where on earth did those months go, its like some sort of blur, such tricks time plays on us. And bloody hell that’s one more summer I won’t ever have a [...]

Bitter and Twisted Briefs

sootyfoot2000@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 06:37:25 +0100

There's a solicitor who seems very keen to take my case, but I'm a bit put off by £145 per hour plus VAT. He's been asking me to double-check the £80+ being quoted by my preferred firm, seems to think they have conflated the initial consultation fee with the more normal one. He may have a point, I'll get back and double check. I wish they all had a written tariff, but I suppose it depends on the work you present them with. What's galling is the £60+ [...]

Some Days are Diamonds

sootyfoot2000@yahoo.co.uk — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 14:49:04 +0100

Isn't it nice when you get a break from the divorce/eviction/x2b hanging round you slog. Not much any professionals can do on a bank holiday so I made a point of going out to our mutual friends who made me feel very welcome and put up with my wingeing and confusion while we sat in the garden. It's good not to feel isolated and to see people's reactions when you put your side of the story.

Later I had a good and humourous chat with three other members on [...]

Friday 24th � Monday 27th - resolution (Moody Blues?)

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 13:45:09 +0100

Friday was the calm before the storm, played tennis had a fencing lesson, laughed loads.

I have been waiting all week for him to ‘make up his mind’, he talks about everything else, dog walking, scarecrows, sat navs – etc. etc.

So Saturday comes and he says ‘don’t be jealous, but I am running with Pat, see you later’. Jealous I think, JEALOUS!!!!!! Its more like anger and fru [...]

At Last - Final Decision

dragonheart196@hotmail.com — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 15:09:18 +0100

On Tuesday i made him make a final decision. I suppose some part of me wanted him to say would could work things out, but that didn't happen. We decided to separate. Told our 5 girls last night. What a nightmare. I will move out and buy a house with my daughter and he will find somewhere for himself and his 4. Maybe we will be able to see each other after we have separated (like it was at the begining) only time will tell. Perhaps we both need space and time to find each other again. Who [...]

Tips for abandoned wives

kbell@dmu.ac.uk — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 00:00:00 +0100

1. Think of jobs he did - the ones you thought must be difficult - and learn to do them yourselves. Even if it takes you ages, doing something new is an achievement. Congratulate yourself.

2. If he comes round and finds fault, smile serenely and ignore him. It's not his business any more.

3. Watch a TV programme he disliked or despised. Note what's good about it - enjoy it if you can.

4. Retune the radio to a new station. See if you like it.

5. But so [...]

Here Comes the Sum

sootyfoot2000@yahoo.co.uk — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 11:52:22 +0100

Well, the sun's come out at last and things always look better when reflecting ultraviolet. I can begin to see a way through. Also, I don't know if this is coincidence, but my x2b has got off her ar*e and says the petition is done; i'll believe it when I see it of course, but she says she is accepting £10K and, oh, the solicitor has added that the court should award Spousal Maintenance "until the £10K is paid as I'm skint."

She reckons s [...]

Feel SO Sad.....

karencockburn41@hotmail.com — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 00:00:00 +0100

I've been feeling very sad over the past couple of days.... Bank Holiday Weekend though.... normally we would 'do' something... go away for a couple of days / go out somewhere for the day..... just enjoy the long weekend really... not this BHW though....

I DO try to keep my chin up... and usually I manage it to an extent... but I'm struggling at the moment...

A little story..... My daughter is a home care worker, one of the clients she has is a 33 year old chap. w [...]

Divorce

Jamey409@hotmail.com — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 21:29:44 +0100

My divorce was final in June of this year after 33 years of marriage. We were separated for quite a while, but somehow I guess I thought it would never come to pass. I'm lost, sad and just totally struggling to find a reason to be happy again!! WHAT TO DO!!!

Thursday 23rd August - the watering can gets it!

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:52:42 +0100

Such feelings of anger keep sweeping over me and all I want to do is say something hurtful to him, to retaliate, to swear and to hit out, throw things, scream.

Stop making small talk and talk to me, you leave me in tears on Monday and all you want to talk about is Sat Navs

F***ing ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Actually it did have to come out somewhere so I’m afraid the watering can got it today an [...]

The Waiting Game

sootyfoot2000@yahoo.co.uk — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 17:24:12 +0100

OK so my x2b now has my written offer. Why write it? I'm so unsure of what she has been telling her solicitor I want her to take it to today's appointment so that he at least knows what I am offering and my reasoning. Also what I want in return (clean break etc).

She has been talking about backing out and maybe that's in my interest too, but it just puts off the day for a few years so why not get on with it? Anyway how does she think she's going to get any mo [...]

Colon Explorer

sootyfoot2000@yahoo.co.uk — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 16:50:55 +0100

Divorce is a mountain to climb. Various people on this site are at the peak, others at the first stage of climbing or the foothills. I'm not even at base camp yet. Climbing, like divorce, generally takes at least two people. They may despise each other and have completely different values, but unless they co-operate for the duration of the task it will be a very rocky journey indeed. The more experienced go first and there they are, the Sherpa Tensings and Edmund Hilarys of div [...]

Tuesday 21st August - so tired

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:31:10 +0100

So very tired today,

tired of not being able to sleep or eat,

tired of feeling sorry for myself,

tired of feeling all this rage and bitteness,

tired of feeling betrayed,

tired of my husband explaining to me for the fiftieth time that they are just good friends even though they have slept together for three nights, at least!

Silly me, somehow I thought once we had got all this out into the open there would be some sort of resolution. Not to be it seems, spent yesterday with him all day, made small talk waited for him to ask anything really, but he is ignoring the situation totally and just talking about inconsequential things. So today I am going to have to start again – things need sorting out. I don’t really want to be the one doing all the running here – one of the thin [...]

People Skills

sootyfoot2000@yahoo.co.uk — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 17:03:23 +0100

Today marked the first time my x2b has gone two consecutive days without contacting me. If I'd known offering her cash would get her off my back I would have done it when we were living together!

I went and did my stint at a voluntary job I do. People there have been generally very supportive considering my wife works there too; she's off at the moment, though, with the stress she has caused, no doubt. I was annoyed with the director of the branch last monday, though [...]

Sunday 19th August - my love statue

Ilovedoggies@croeso.com — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 07:33:36 +0100

Here we go – this is my love analogy – its pretty bloody awful but analogies aren’t my strongest point

I see my relationship as a great big marble statue. When you fall in love is a thing to behold – shiny and new and magnificant, it glints in the sun and blinds passers by with its glory (or something).

As the years go on the lustre fades somewhat, it becomes dull, frost damage starts to take effe [...]