Blog Entries for mrsnomore

Jedi Powers still warding off the Darkside! Yey!

emdbld@live.co.uk — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Well, STBX has introduced his 'special friend' to the girls, good, about time he moved on with his life. They are happy with it and so am I - he doesnt seem to be though!

He is seemingly amazed that I have not reacted to this news, other than 'No, I dont have a problem' and 'yes I am getting divorce sorted' (as he 'told' me to last week by text - it has been held up by him controlling when HE wants it done in his words ''I dont care ho [...]

Ma vie est belle!

emdbld@live.co.uk — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I am really happy this week.... I cannot remember feeling this lightheaded and happy and ME for years.

My BF and girls are getting on well.

I have managed to keep my job through a load of redundancies. (still need more work though!)

I have found a real epiphany "a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality" since reading about Verbal Abuse thanks to Sad Eyes. I have tools to deal with an angry x and to help my girls deal with him. Was g [...]

Its been a long time....

emdbld@live.co.uk — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0100

...... Three weeks to be exact! Three weeks with NO No.2 from my STBX! (mind you, I am touching wood as I type this lol) Previous record stood at 7 days....

Since a minor little blip of temper, spite and bile when I told him that I was goingto and then introduce girls to my BF, he has been almost 'normal'. Hurrah!

He has cut maintenance in half, but apart from that.... its been so so quiet. A little comment her [...]

Stages of emotions

emdbld@live.co.uk — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

In replying to a blog today it reminded me of the letters I wrote to my stbx which I never sent. I found the emotional stages in a book and they were stated as being;

SHOCK, ANGER, PAIN, HATRED, GRIEVING, HEALING

The letter idea was from the healing stage - a letter to your partner expressing some of the emotions you have experienced. Should be written, not to be actually sent. Imagine that everything you write is heard and understood the way you want it [...]

Trying to stop

emdbld@live.co.uk — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I have had two weeks without my DD's who have been in america with their father. I had a week in Spain with my family and bf. On the whole it has been hard (missing the girls, him not making it easy to contact them and still being sarcastic and snide) but I had a wonderful time away and the contact with STBX has been minimal (hooray).

He has tried to control me still, but friends and family have all been giving me a talking to about the fact that I am still influenced by [...]

Stoppy adolescence or reaction to cisrcumstance?

emdbld@live.co.uk — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I have always had a really close relationsip with my elder DD who is 11.

She has always been a sensitive and caring type, very easy going and kind. She has been a great support and very 'understanding' of our split. All she asked is that she was 'told what was going on', which within the boundaries of what I can tell her in the correct terminology, I have.

She knows that I have been seeing my bf for five months and has been interested and has aske [...]

Self-Esteemless?

emdbld@live.co.uk — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

On the whole life is a whole world better than it was a year ago, two years ago and six months ago. No, not on the whole. It is. Way way better and I even am thankful that I have gone through it.

I look around on here and see the awful things that people have had to deal with and are coming through or still battling on a daily basis and I am in awe. I think that sometimes my problems are not as bad and I have a lot to be thankful for.

Due to what I have been through I [...]

Bringing in the rain

emdbld@live.co.uk — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Well, I have had my proverbial week (or more) in the sun with no hassles or abuse (well nothing to write to blog about).....

My elder DD's bday and STBX has been on his control gameboy again. She asked to have separate bday events (naturally) and he was trying to hold a bday party at his house (to control) she said no (good for her)

In the meantime he has been whinging about the cost of the two events, and that we should be doing something together on her birthday [...]

What a difference

emdbld@live.co.uk — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Have had a good week. I feel relaxed, normal and happy. STBX has been out of the country and is way too tight to text anything from abroad, so I have had more breathing space and peace than I have had for the last eight months or more. I realise that I still have a huge way to go until this feeling is more or less the norm, but it has really given me some strength and time to gather myself for the forthcoming year or more.

At the beginning of all this (Oct 06) I was so dismayed when pe [...]

Much better

emdbld@live.co.uk — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Have had two great days with no crap and feel quite good! (apart from boiler not working and constant torrential rain) I am a happy bunny.

Know that STBX has managed to find himself a GF from the tinternet and I am so happy I hi-fived myself when I 'accidentally' found out! Yey! HOPEFULLY this will mean that he will have more time to concentrate on woooing her than dreaming up more jealous drivvel to dish out.

My lover has announced that he is taking me for a road trip t [...]

Hand over time

emdbld@live.co.uk — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I hate the hand overs. We dont get on, we have nothing to say to each other and he cannot be civil, although demands it from me.

Each time I can probably count to twenty tops before he texts some snide comment or complaint about my manner/smugness/miserableness/rudeness

They are ignored and sometimes laughed at (i.e. cutting maint as I am not polite enough!)

He swings from normal texts (i.e. just about the girls) to some far fetched assumption of what I am doing and who I a [...]

Its almost funny

emdbld@live.co.uk — Wed, 28 May 2008 01:00:00 +0100

Had a good day with my girls. We were supposed to be going to see a war memorial (! DD is interested in her great great uncle who was on HMS Hood and has been learning about it all etc - not that I usually take them to a war memorial for a day out! lol) As it was awful weather we have rain-checked literally until tomorrow.

So we went and did some pottery painting, made a choc cake and some scrummy Jamie soup.

STBX ranted at me this morning when I went to collect them, not polite [...]

A bit brighter after the weekend

emdbld@live.co.uk — Tue, 27 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Feeling a lot better after a weekend free of STBX and his behaviour - mostly because I have not had to lay eyes on him and that I have not had to converse.

Had a good weekend with the girls with not one communication for TWO WHOLE DAYS while I had them. He picked them up yesterday morning, they jumped in his car and went off. We don't really converse at the moment as he makes it another opportunity to be spiteful or sarcastic and the girls don't like it.

So he just sent me [...]

How low can he go?

emdbld@live.co.uk — Fri, 23 May 2008 01:00:00 +0100

I picked my girls (10 and 8) up from school yesterday after being with their dad for 4 days. They were really rude and stroppy, which really got to me.

When I told them off and explained how upset it made me feel, I got a bit upset. Then they told me that their dad had told them;

Mum is too busy with her new boyf to see you a lotWhen you go to your grandparents its because Mum wants to go to see her boyfHer and her boyf want to move away and take you out of your schools

Girls are [...]

Background to my bitter 'ex' periences

emdbld@live.co.uk — Mon, 19 May 2008 01:00:00 +0100

18 months ago my stbx hubby had a classic colleague affair after 10 years of marriage and two children. He left 'to sort his head out' ignoring my pathetic attempts to make him stay. He continued to see her for five months then decided he wanted to come back and 'save his family' (as you can imagine I was most impressed with him remembering us after 5 months).

So we 'tried to save our marriage'. We went to Relate, made an attempt to do all the thin [...]