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Mediators help couples who are going through a break-up to reach
agreement on key issues such as finances and child contact.
Mediation allows you and your ex to discuss your differences in a constructive and supportive environment.
In general, using mediators
to negotiate a fair arrangement with your ex is quicker, less
expensive and less stressful than taking your disputes through a
contested court battle.
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How does mediation work?
A trained mediator will meet with you both for a series of sessions in which you will
be helped to
• Identify all the matters you wish to consider
• Collect the necessary information
• Talk about the choices open to you
• Negotiate with each other to reach decisions that are acceptable to you both
• Discuss how you can consult your children appropriately about arrangements
What does the mediator do?
The
mediators job is to act as an impartial third party and manage the
process, helping you to exchange information, ideas and feelings
constructively and ensuring that you make informed decisions. The
mediator has no power to impose a settlement - responsibility
for alldecisions remains with yourselves since you know better than
anyone else what is right for your family. The mediator will not advise
you about the best option either for your children or your financial
affairs, nor can the mediator protect your individual interest.
Four key principles of the mediation process
• It is voluntary
• The mediator is impartial
• It is confidential
• It is flexible
Will I still need a solicitor?
Yes,
you will need a solicitor to advise you on the personal consequences
for you of your proposals. You will be encouraged to engage a solicitor
whom you can consult during the mediation process. At the end of
mediation your solicitor will be able to advise you about your
proposals and translate them into a legally binding form.
Will we have anything in writing?
At
the end of mediation you will usually have achieved a written summary
of the proposals you have reached. This is not a legally binding
document and you will need legal advice about it especially if you have
reached agreement on financial and property issues.
How much will it cost?
Each
Service has its own scale of charges. A mediator will also be able to
advise you if you are eligible for publicly funded mediation, which is
free.
Is mediation suitable for everybody?
Sometimes
mediation is not the best way for you to resolve your problems. You
will have a chance to discuss this in more detail at your first
individual meeting with the mediator.
Is mediation confidential?
Firstly mediation is confidential and courts are also likely to regard the discussions as privileged.
Confidentiality
- The Service will not voluntarily disclose to outsiders any
information obtained in the course of your discussions without first
obtaining your permission (unless it appears there is a risk of
significant harm to adult or child).
Privilege - What you
say during mediation cannot be used later in court as evidence.
But facts disclosed during mediation are regarded as open information
and although strictly confidential may be used subsequently in court.
Will the mediator talk to the children?
In
mediation you are regarded as the experts on your children and will
have valuable knowledge and information about their needs, wishes and
views. However there may be times when you both would like the mediator
to consult directly with the children about your plans. In those
circumstances children would be asked for their specific comments and
views on your joint proposals, without having to take sides in any
difference of opinion between their parents.
Such a meeting
needs careful planning and is confidential in so far as the mediator
and children agree what the mediator will say to the parents after the
meeting.
What are the benefits of mediation?
Research
conducted by The Joseph Rowntree Foundation with Newcastle University
identified that three years later couples felt that mediation had
helped them to:
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End the marital relationship amicably
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Reduce conflict
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Maintain good relationships with their ex spouses
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Carry less bitterness and resentment into their post-divorce lives.
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Be more content with existing child care arrangements and less likely to have disagreements about child contact.
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Be able to reach agreement that had survived the test of time.
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Be glad they had used mediation.
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