It''s my weekend alone and I have made a point of making no plans. I was out on a date Wednesday night then out with friends Thursday night. I think I fill my days and nights a bit too much. I think I need to have more alone time to really get used to the fact that I am alone now.

It took real effort not to line something up for Friday night. I could have set something up, I am sure of it. That would have been more fun. But I am very tired and I think I am pushing myself too much. I am hoping that by staying in tonight and being very relaxed on Saturday as well I can recharge a bit. I am a

Despite only actively using about this site for a week - this is where I find myself on a Monday morning knowing that I have to go to work when I barely feel able to put one foot in front of the other. I know that it''''''''s over & I''''''''ve known it for a while but today is the day that it''''''''s "real". I don''''''''t know where to put the pain and the weariness so I''''''''m parking it here for the day. While I''''''''m at work, could I ask all you wonderful people to kick it, laugh at it, disrespect it and refuse to give it any time? Hopefully this means that when I get home & pick

Wow. Sometimes I think she''s actually crazy. Really crazy. Monday devolved into a yelling session and I am not even sure why. Finally I snapped and yelled back. Tonight we met to talk about a few issues and I was trying to get out of there fast to avoid more yelling but she found that disrespectful and snapped. The yelling started again.

When she yells and gets angry the mean stuff comes out of her mouth. Today it wasn''t mean at me it was threatening around access to see the kids. Nice. The thing is, right now, she has the control and she knows I care. A lot. She yells at me how clear it is