It has been busy days..but that's I want to be, because it is easy to get some sleep. Tiredness knock me down to get sleep easily.

Still I can't believe last year this time I was with my husband and tried to have a hope..."we are ok" then I used to deny what I knew /felt about"strange his attitude".. But now...even it has been difficult time but now I have known all how he has been not respectable...and no degnity... This is the internet...it gave me all information about him...on THE site...

I used to cry every single day, every seconds and I was wondering.."how much the body can make "tears"

A good weekend really, started off by G/F deciding to stay in at her's with me instead (had planned to go out). I was always staying overnight anyway. Had a REALLY good chat about all sorts of things and I asked her when I am going to meet her parents properly (I saw them in passing a few weeks back). She said her mum had mentioned possibly planning an xmas gathering durign xmas so am now looking forward to that....AND I asked her about New Years eve (she wasn't happy at the moment about me staying overnight (even in the spare room) as son isn't aware of the full story etc..), but she said

Having a tuff time today

Things have been getting me down for about a week now and try as I have to stay positive I just cant seam to do it... the purple fish has gone for a while and im back to my blue one... I think im too trusting and keep getting myself hurt... I always think things are going to get better for me and hope that somewhere in my future things will work out for me but just keep getting knocked down by the lorry I didn't see coming... I feel so fed up of trying to pick myself up and start again... when does all this start to get better?? In fact will it start to get