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Dec 01
2009
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It is amazing how life moves on, how our emotions change as time goes by. At the end of August I got my Dicri Nisi, I took this very hard when I saw this bit of paper stamped by the court looking all offical. I had moments of terrible grief even though I have known our marriage has been over for a while.
I have had moments of hardly being able to stand up and thinking any minute now I am going to have a heart attack or a stroke as the pain of loosing him engulfed me. I have considered driving my car of the edge of a cliff or other thaughts of suicide, I have seen myself as worthless, unloved, I have sat in my pyjamas all day crying. I have wondered how I am going to survive at all and closed the curtains and gone back to bed during the day.
What I want to say in this blog is that finally 12 weeks after my Nisi I am coming out of this Depression, I am starting to feel joy in my heart as I feel my drive for life returning. Throughout all this hell I have also worked in a very stressful job and taken a management course etc. I also keep a social life of about 4 girlfriends going for coffeeing shopping and holidays.... I have to say I am starting to feel good.
Why am I writing this blog you may wonder, well because as a 55 year old lady I want you to know that this life is doable and there is so much out there for you to grasp onto. The pain does subside, look inside yourself your (inner self) because that is where all this new growth starts and believe me it is a wonderful feeling. I have no man and am not on the dating scene as this only hinders the need to find ourselves first.
I am happy I am free I am me, the days of waking up suffocated and unloved have left me.....
To make new friends you have to go out there and find them, then you have to be kind to them and put lots of energy into keeping them as special friends.
It works go and try it.
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Joff
said:
| December 01, 2009 | ||
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Hi, I am a few months behind you in getting out of a relationship which went wrong. It is good to hear how someone feels at the end and that even when it is challenging they have come out of the other side. I hope that the upside continues! Thank you for sharing this. J |
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JackieH
said:
| December 01, 2009 | ||
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Thanks Fruitcup, this is a good time for me to hear this. I am trying to motivate myself! | |
nature girly
said:
| December 02, 2009 | ||
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Thank you fruitcup for sharing that, so others can see that it does get better. I get those feelings you mention an awful lot more often than I used to. I hope that it stays that way for you. | |
mumtoboys
said:
| December 02, 2009 | ||
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Hello Fruitcup. So glad to see your blog. Sounds like you're doing great! Good for you - and I wish you many years of happinness, new friendships and discovery ahead of you. xxx | |
notathaigirl
said:
| December 02, 2009 | ||
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Fruitcup Good on yer lass! Keep walking that path your on. I hope it brings you all the joy and happiness you deserve. Take care xx |
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NellNoRegrets
said:
| December 02, 2009 | ||
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Fruitcup So glad things are looking up - I really needed to read that as I am having a bit of a relapse this week! Thanks again! Nell |
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julesm
said:
| December 02, 2009 | ||
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Hi Fruitcup I am so pleased for you, it's great news. I think I am getting to that point as well. Things are a lot better for me now than they were a year ago. Best wishes Jules |
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Fruitcup
said:
| December 04, 2009 | ||
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Thank you so muchhhh peeps! and hugggssss to you all for your coments. I am very grateful for all your support. | |
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