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Jul 01
2009
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Came home from work today, usual pile of post on the doormat. In the middle a letter from the solicitor.
It says 'I enclose the original of your Decree Absolute. This now brings your marriage to an end. Please keep the Certificate in a safe place as it is an original document and you may need to refer to it at a future date.'
The wording struck me as funny - my marriage came to an end over a year ago! A bit of paper does not bring it to an end! I also wondered why I would need to refer to it again - ending a marriage is not something you tend to forget!!
I'm now sitting here along in the fmh. I am glad the children are not here tonight as I want some time with my thoughts. I am feeling mixed emotions;
Relief that yet another part of the jigsaw has fallen into place. Just need the exchange of contracts to go smoothly on the fmh and full steam ahead with the new life.Anger that it had to come to this - what was wrong with talking about things? Why did she have to go and have an affair?
Happiness that I am largely free of the nasty person she became.
Sadness knowing my children will have to deal with having divorced parents, which might affect future family celebrations.
Regret that after 18 years of marriage something drove her to become a selfish self centred person, and that I couldn't do anything about it.
I tried to cast my mind back to the days before I met her to try and remember what life was like without her, and I only have hazy memories of things. She has been part of my life for so long, and features in all the memories of things that have happened to me over the last 20 years.
I cannot lose those memories that she is in but I have already starting building new memories that don't include her, and I will carry on doing this, carving out my new life as a divorced dad.
I am now a much stronger person, I feel much happier in myself, I am more confident, and content with who I am.
A huge thank you to everyone on Wiki that has helped me to get this far in my journey!
Steve
Show/Hide comments
NellNoRegrets
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Hi Steve You have now closed a chapter in your life. The reason you need to keep your decree absolute safe is because you would need to produce it should you wish to marry again. But its a bit of paper when all is said and done. Good luck Nell xx |
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smurfy
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Good luck Steve. You are an inspiration. Take care of yourself. ((((u)))) |
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Sheepie
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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((( Steve ))) I can imagine the mixture of emotions getting this piece of paper. But ... you did it, you got through and are looking forward to a new life. Well done you!! I hope the sun always shines on you this time xx |
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irisjean
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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You are so right, Steve. A piece of paper is just a legal document. You do not need someone to tell you something which you already know. Have a Peaceful Night. The Future Awaits. irisjeanxxx | |
Claymic78
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Hi Steve It always have some effect when you see it black on white - even though we would have known for months that this day would come. Wish you great things for your future! Claudette |
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Joff
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Steve I am just starting the journey you have completed and am having some of those odd emotions you still seem to have. Thank you for sharing them. Nothing I can say will make it easier for you other than the limbo is now ended and you can move on if you want to. I agree that the children get a raw deal and I like you will have to watch for a long time that we do not make it any worse. Good luck! Jonathan |
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Angel557
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Yes look after that piece of paper , i lost mine and i needed it not so long ago.I remember that feeling the day i found out i was divorced i felt i had lost my identity did'nt know if i should be Mrs , Miss or Ms, ex wife , 1st wife or what . All the best for the future |
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nature girly
said:
| July 02, 2009 | ||
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Thinking of you Steve, as one door closes another door opens, I wish you nice, happy and better things in the new room marked Steves'Future. |
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mezzie
said:
| July 02, 2009 | ||
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((steve)) It is just a piece of paper to file away. The important thing now is to do something positive to mark the start of a new way of life. I had a good soak in the bath, with a glass of wine & a good cry - Then I stepped out & imagined all the negative feelings & experiences of the last year or so draining away with the dirty water. I left the room ready to move forward. |
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