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Jul 01
2009
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Moving forwards.....Posted by TWiggle81 in moving on, dating, breaking up, being single, accepting its over |
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It was a year yesterday that my ex left me to move on with his life with oter women. It has been a tough year with a definite roller coaster ride of emotions. The first 7 months were intensely difficult but it has got easier over the last 5 with many, many good days rather than bad.
Well yesterday I decided to go speed dating to celebrate my ex leaving, thought it would be a good thing to do instead of sitting at home thinking about what was going on this time last year. I was looking forward to it but was very nervous as I have never been to anything like this before but thought it can't do any harm, if there is no-one there who is interesting or interested it doesn't change my life in the slightest. The evening was ok, as I expected really!!!
I certainly didn't meet the man of my dreams but it was quite fun and most of the people I spoke to were friendly enough and weren't difficult to chat to for 4 minutes, so far I don't know if I have any matches but it was something to do. I only ticked 4 people out of 16 which were okay but none popped out as anything special.
However after my evening when I got home it suddenly hit me that I now have to do these tedious things to contemplate maybe meeting someone else and I realised I still missed my ex. For the past few weeks I really felt like I didn't miss him anymore because of the way he has treated me I just felt like I deserved better and his new gf was welcome to him but after last night I know i'm not on the road to recovery quite as much as I thought I was. It's just difficult I guess knowing that if I was still happily married I wouldn't have to go to dating events to take my mind off the fact that I wasn't even good enough for the person who was supposed to love me, that I was so unbearable in our marriage that he could only stay married to me for a year before running off with someone else.
I know that I have come really far in a year and I am proud of myself but I have also realised its going to take alot longer before i'm ready to properly be with someone else.
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FabDad
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Twigs, You were, and still are, far too good for the insensitive, idiotic tw*t. You've got sooooo much of your life ahead of you, and the right person will come along when you least expect it...... take my word for it  ....... and a very lucky bloke he will be too. Just hope he can keep up with your 'pudding' habit. Fab xx |
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Galla
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| July 01, 2009 | ||
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My wife left me for someone else and I am completely devastated. But the way I am looking at it is that maybe we were not meant to be together. Maybe she was not meant to be my true love and that person has yet to make herself known to me. The only thing you can do is take one day at a time and live a life that makes you happy. And when you are happy in yourself that is when someone will appear and love you for who you are and the way you deserve to be loved. And don?t ever blame yourself for the relationship ending. It was his weakness that led him to be unfaithful. Hang in there, I?m told it gets better with time. |
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mike62
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Twiggle, You need a chef  But seriously, anyone who has been through this process will tell you that there is a big emotional pendulum that swings too and fro - intensely at first, then gradually more slowly. Did I love him? Didn't I love him. Do I miss him, Don't I miss him?. It takes time. One day, something quite inconsequential will come along and you suddenly realise that you are finally over it. Its very liberating, but it takes a different time for everyone to get there. In the meantime, it is about looking after you and preparing for that new life. You're definitely getting there, but watch out for that pendulum. Keep smiling. Mike |
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Deedum
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| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Twiggle Well done you for the speed dating, that was very brave of you and shows what a strong young woman you are. You might have only been married a year, but at least you have not wasted years on your ex and have a chance to build the life you deserve, which will be better than one with him. There are some decent blokes out there (they're just harder to find)! Keep going out and enjoying yourself. Dee x |
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Kimmi
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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(((Twigs))) I second everything FabDad said. You are too good for that insensitive tw*t. You deserve happiness, and you do realise that anyone who comes into your life will be subject to a wiki interrogation don't you I think you're brilliant, so does everyone else. xxxx |
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ThrowingMuse
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Oh Twig, you are so far removed from being "so unbearable" or not "good enough". You had the misfortune to marry someone who didn't deserve you and was, frankly, in love with himself so had no room for anyone else. It is hard when you are having to do things to get out there and meet people when you thought you had married for life, but the point is you ARE getting out there, you ARE doing things and you DO deserve so so much better than you had so you WILL get your reward in time. Just keep getting on and enjoying things and some time, when you least expect it probably, you will find someone. Please don't waste your thoughts on the ex though, he isn't worthy of them!! Louisa xxxx |
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NellNoRegrets
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Twiggle Your ex is the one who wasn't good enough for you. Of course going dating would remind you about why you are doing it and would awaken feelings - but that doesn't mean you aren't as far down the road to recovery as you thought. Just the fact that you were able to go speed dating shows how far you have come. Onward and upward. Nell x |
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Hughie73
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Hey Twiggs, How very brave of you to go speed dating. That takes some courage and guts, well done you! Unfortunately (as with me) this chapter in your life is a marathon and takes time and patience to move on. This guy is a fool and you wait, one day you'll have the last laugh, I can promise you that. You're a good mate and have been there for me when the chips have been down and I have nothing but good things to say about you. You deserve so much better than you've been treated and in time someone will see that and bring Twiggs back to life. Keep going girl, I'm proud of you. x |
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linny
said:
| July 01, 2009 | ||
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Twiggle Can i join the calling the ex an insensitive T** club? It's right what everyone is saying - you are too good for him. He will do the same thing to his new woman one day. My ex has done it all his life. Leopards don't change their spots. You are a lovely person with a lovely sparkle to you. He has not managed to diminish your sparkle! It's early days for you - you have your whole life ahead to make the right decision with someone who deserves you. Keep going Twigs!!! See ya soon Lynda (Linny) xx |
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