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Jun 01
2009
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Last week I asked the stbx that out of common courtesy, if my daughter was ever to meet her man could she please, please tell me. That event happened on Saturday without my knowledge.
They went camping, again without my knowledge at the weekend and had a barbeque on Saturday night as that was my daughter's introduction to him.
I am so full of anger and jealousy.
I had the mother of all arguments with my ex this afternoon and naturally it was all my fault for pressing all the information out of a 4 year old girl. She at first denied it (now there's a funny thing) and then stated "we only went for a walk."I screwed up my prized sunglasses and threw them at the wall as I was so angry. I showed my weekness again by then declaring my love and asking for her to return to me to try again as a family and she stood there firm with my sobbing heart pouring out looking at me like I'm a fool (which I am). I asked what I did wrong in the marriage for this to all happen and she said, "you know why, you didn't respect me and I was unhappy." It is the lies that cut me so deep, if only I couldn't see this awful human being anymore it would be so much easier.
As yet again I am crying (getting boring this) and I want to give a wholeheartedly apology to all to those who I have let down. Alison, Kevin, Liz, Phil, Lynn, Lily, Gill,Helen and Steve are my wiki friends who I have let down by not listening to anything they have said to me over the last few months. I don't think it is a good idea to come onto chat at the moment because of this as I am so ashamed and embarrassed with myself.
I rang my parents in a distressed manner and they are to arrive shortly to try and calm me down.
Sorry once again to all those I have let down. Man, how upset am I?
Comments (17)
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mumtoboys
said:
| June 01, 2009 | ||
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Oh goodness, if only there was something I could say that would help. Andy, you have nothing, but nothing at all to feel bad about - you haven't let anyone down. YOU are the one who has been left down, disappointed, betrayed. NONE of us had perfect marriages and maybe, in a year or so when you ask us about it, we might admit that perhaps we played a bigger part in our break ups than we are currently able to admit. But nothing, nothing at all justifies her behaviour, her affairs or her lying. Nor is it justified that her small daugther is subjected to her relationship in this way. It is horrible now but it will improve, with time, with the support of your family and friends. You know we are all here for you and don't want to see you suffer alone. Chat doesn't have to be about fun (even if it helps) - you know that. If you need to talk, you know where I am. Take care of yourself - your daughter needs you to keep yourself healthy and happy. She is relying on you to help her make sense of this mess so you can move forwards together - she is your new, improved, small and perfectly formed family now. Stay strong. It will get better. Liz xxx |
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sadface
said:
| June 01, 2009 | ||
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Hughie, who on earth have you let down. This whole thing is a total emotional roller coaster. I still have moments when I want to ring and beg mine to come home, won't listen to my head that tells me I will be better off out of an abusive relationship, he isn't really with her... is he? We all do it, and we dont want anyone to burst our bubble, do we. I cannot imagine the pain of when my kids have to meet his woman, as his partner that is as they have known her since they were born! For them and me it will be totally awful. I really feel for your anguish. A pair of sunglasses doesn't even touch it - Really glad your parents are coming round t o help you out, don't be a stranger to your friends on here, you always are so lovely and helpful to everyone. Thinking of you Jackie |
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Throwing Muse
said:
| June 01, 2009 | ||
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((((((Hughie)))))) please don't think you have let anyone down. You had a shock, it reminded you of what you no longer have, you reacted by wanting back what you had - that is a normal human reaction by a normal human. If we were all automatons we would cope great with these situations but we aren't and we will get upset when upsetting things happen. You have let no one down, you are a great father and a tremendous support to people here. You do listen or you would never have come as far as you have. You have nothing at all to be ashamed or embarrassed about and we are all here for you. xxxxx |
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didojane
said:
| June 01, 2009 | ||
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Hey Hughie you have not let any body down and I am sure all your friends here will agree with me . Its ok to feel this way . Of cause you were bound to feel angry let down hurt jealous but that doesn't mean you let any one down . Hughie you have not let your self down either believe me . You are not a fool either all you are is a man that has been let down in love by the one person he believed in that is all . You feel betrayed again and that will cut so deep and it will hurt but its done now and you cant change it but you can move forward from it Hughie i cant express how much happier you have become and how far you have come on . you might not see these changes but i have and others have too . Please hug your self for me as you deserve a hug and i cant give you one as i am her stuck in this computer but heres a virtual one (((((((((HUGS ))))))) Hughie you are great please dont ever forget that ok you are a wonderful person . Love dido xx |
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Krystaltips
said:
| June 01, 2009 | ||
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hughie)))))))))))))))))))))))
))))))) That hug's to tide you over til Windsor then I'll give you a huge squeeze hun. You have let no-one down!! Gutted about the shades tho 'cos they were kinda cool. Anytime u need a chat matey XX |
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absl
said:
| June 01, 2009 | ||
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Ah Hughie. I am glad you have told her you loved her, and I am glad you have allowed yourself to be upset in front of her. You have given her another chance to see that you want to work at your marriage, and I believe she has let you know that this isn't possible, at least at this time. At some point you will start the healing process, but until then we, as your friends, will be here for you, whenever you need us. I am sorry you feel you haven't listened to any of the people you mentioned, but to be honest, the only person you can truly listen to, is yourself. Until you are ready to heal and move forward, we are your buffers, but it is only your own actions and thoughts that are valid to you. I am also very sorry you feel declaring your love is a weakness, and I hope one day you will be able to love yourself, and eventually another someone worthy of such a high emotion. If I am the Alison mentioned, I refute that I have been let down by you. Only I can determine that one Hughie, and it's unfair that you should pin something on me that I don't feel. YOUR emotions are valid to you, if YOU feel let down, that is how YOU feel. YOU are entitled to feel that way you know? ((((hughie))) I am thinking of you, and I hope we can speak soon. Alison x |
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julesm
said:
| June 01, 2009 | ||
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Hughie I have never met you, only chatted and left you replies to your blogs, which I am doing now, but I dont believe for one moment that you did anything wrong in your marriage. I think it is easy in the situations we find ourselves to want to try to convince our exes that they still need us. In fact I tried to do this at the weekend, and yet again it went horribly wrong. After the inevitable happened and I lost my temper with him, all I kept thinking was why, why did I show my weak side and end up feeling stupid. All we need to do now is try to move on and stop trying to take the blame. They are the ones to blame for their lies and deceit. Best wishes Jules |
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andrew1971h
said:
| June 01, 2009 | ||
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You have let no one down. You can hear the words but the heart wins out. Feel for you me too still in love it's a tough place to be. You will do it and escape the clutches of this love and rise again. I imagine and hope this will lead to a stronger future. Andrew |
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Epyon2yk2
said:
| June 01, 2009 | ||
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Hi Hughie You haven't let anyone down, you are allowed to confess your love to stbx and thats nothing to be ashamed of, I tried to do it many times but I knew that my stbx just refused to acknowledge it and it makes you feel foolish, I should know. Now stop beating yourself and put down that tree trunk of a stick, because in the end, you have to move on with your life, and you have a beautiful daughter to take care of and you can pour all your love into her. Even if your stbx does not acknowledge your love, when your ready, you will find someone who will acknowledge it and mirror your love back to you. Now wouldn't that be a great sight. You have plenty of us wikipeeps around to give our support, now don't lose sight of that, you have move so far from where you were a couple of months ago, and look how much hope you have given to people when they have been down, so please don't give up. As a final thing, it's ok to breakdown and cry there is shame in that, at least you are letting it all out and not just bottling all up inside. In the end we need people like you to give us a lift, I even love the title of this blog, just shows what a great person you are in making light of bad situation. Pm me if you need to talk Take care Phil |
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