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Jul 30
2007
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Monday 30th July - another dayPosted by fio in Untagged |
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Woke up with the brillaint idea that why not let him keep the house – I have the savings and travel. I wouldn’t have to worry about bills etc. Had a few second thoughts about that later, but I enjoyed the idea for a while at least.
Went out to play tennis – have to say these friends who I haven’t told, I did tell today because they were asking how his job hunting was going and how difficult it must be for him etc., etc and I didn’t really want to talk about that, so I told them.
They were sympathetic of course, but I didn’t dwell on it and we all carried on as normal.
I think I have found the car I want – got the price down, flirted with the salesman – hey that was fun – haven’t flirted properly for years!!!! Haven’t actually bought it – yet!
Emotionally today – not that great, not that bad either, at one point I decided that I should let him know that I know and ask him what he intends to do. It might be a good idea – I am finding it really difficult in the house – I can’t keep out of his way – not that big a house, so I spend all day out. It should at least clear the air.
Well tonight is running club – how quickly that seems to come around Am thinking if the woman, lets call her Pat, phones once more I am going to tell her to f*** off!!!! Hey I starred that in case I get censored!
Well ended up him complaining that I was ignoring him and me saying that I think he knows why, and him saying no he didn’t and then my daughter walked in so that was that. Now he has gone to bed.
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DownButNotOut
said:
| July 31, 2007 | ||
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I have read all your blogs with great interest. You are in that interesting stage of having discovered his infidelity, made up your mind that its pretty much over (i think?) but have not yet confronted him about it. I think it is very very hard to think straight and make solid decisions at that stage. I mean, when you confront him he may walk out, on the other hand, he try desperately to rescue the relationship. Have you really decided in your own mind that it is over? I think the instinct is to convince yourself it is over as a kind of protection. Because if you keep your options open then in a way you are handing the control over to him. He gets to decide if you break up or turn things around. So to keep control you make the decision first. But is it the right one? I think at least your kids are grown up and so you do have more freedom to choose what is right for you. Anyhow I wish you the best of luck and from your writing you seem a very sane person and someone who will come out of this strong whichever course you take.  |
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fio
said:
| July 31, 2007 | ||
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Thanks DBNO. I have decided that I def want out - no doubt about it, I can't see how I could forgive the deceit that is continuing even now, it like living with some stranger who I have never known, not the guy who I had two kids with and lived with since I was 17 years old. If it was just the case of an affair, maybe I could forgive - but visiting a solicitor and asking me about our savings the day before he went! - I think the planning of the lie hurts more. And all this happened a week before we went away on holiday which I thought we were both looking forward to. Anyhow thanks for your kind support - its great to think that my blog is being read  |
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