I am starting to wonder if unconditional love actually exists betweeen lovers whether married or not.  In actual fact it is qyuite the opposite; it is based on lots of conditions and most of them unwritten or explicit.  Bit like a contract when you move in with someone and share your lives together or sign the marriage certificate.

Your love is probably conditional upon your partner not cheating on you, not beating you up, not being emotional abusive either in aa critical or cold controlling way.

I once had a discussion with my last fella and he said there was no such thing as unconditional

ENOUGH

Enough tears have been shed

enough Heartbreak Hotel

Enough jagged shards of splintered glass

 buried deep

Enough of the best years of my life

wasted on existence

Being the Living Dead

sacrificial lamb to depression

Hopoelessness

despair

Enough Love and giving of myself

to One

Who turned out to be undeserving

not the man I thought him to be

Maybe I put him on a pedestal

gave him the benefit of the doubt

One time too many

Perhaps I loved him more

Saw only the Good

Perhaps ~Love mis not enough

His words not mine

Or he never loved at all

Insisting I change

Into the ideal version

In his imaginary mind

That is

Ever since that fateful day when my husband told me in no uncertain terms that he no longer loved me and wanted out of the marriage and for me to not be part of his life or future anymore, I have kept a diary of the most painful journey I have been forced to embark on.  Cancer was bad enough but this is on an altogether different emotional level.

I feel angry with myself probably a month ago I was on an upbeat, proud of myself that i had carved out a new life for myself in a new city, a new job with adequate income to pay the rent and food, made some new friends and got myself a nice flat to