Early afternoon the STBx rang to ask if she had left her purse here yesterday.  After finding it she said that she would collect it after school and bring the boys with her.

When she finaly turned up, with out the boys she said I could go a watch them playing rounders and then bring them back.

(Not sure why a 50 year man needs pernission to see his children but thats another issue).

Before I carry on. Yesterday the STBx said she would help clean the house. (Well that would be the first time in many a year).

Again way from being nice to me I, then ask that stupid question, when was she going to

IU actual started writting this yesterday and then the battery / Power Supply on my Laptop died before I could save it.

 The STBx has been collecting stuff some times bringiong the boys and we played football in the garden. It was nice to see them but hard becuase they would be gone again in a few minutes.

Saturday was the school fete and the boys asked we to come. It went and said hello, but the boys were really wanted to play with their friends, so I walked the opposite way to them so I could "bump into them" each lap. 

The STBx had arranged that the boys stay at one of their friends staurday

The walls are cracking

and crumbling

and i dont want to be buried alive

when they fall

The tide is turning

and i dont have the energy

or the strength

to swim against it

Where do i turn

to for strength?

How do i fight

against this