BC when I do - he talks about his life and how things are ging for him. I don't want to know about that. It depresses me bc I wanted his life stop like mine when we seperated.

 I can't communicate with him. He manipulates everything to being my fault. I can't take it anymore. Thenhe pretends to be sad and oh so sorry! F'n LIER! ...

He just doesn't want  me to have a life wo him like he does.

LIER!!!! UGH!!!!F'N LIER! all lies. that's all it is Lies and manipulation!

I hate him!!

I have started to find some of my spirit again.  I have felt the darkness lifting a little... just enough to lift my head above the safety of my bolt hole.

A wedding invitation arrived... my name so beautifully written with "and guest"... I knew it would hit me hard.  A reminder that I am alone and at a place in my life where I am unsure if I will ever find something meaningful with another human being again.

I have built a fortress around my fragile heart and I am unsure if anyone will ever get through the brick walls and barricades.

Although part of me wants to be strong and continue to

I joined this site a while ago but I finally feel ready to say hello.

I will summarise my story as it is a lengthy one as so much happened but it is one that shocks people time and time again.

I split with my now ex husband over two years ago when he walked out on me for a woman he worked with. We had been together since the age of 16 so at 31 I was lost without him. So were our three children. I fell apart as I watched my life crumble around me.

There were so many lies surrounding the break up and so many more over the months that followed. He destroyed my confidence, bragged about how great